Monday, December 15, 2008

List December #13 (devin)

Top 5 Evergreeners that you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley:

Honorable Mention #2: Chris Leonardo -

His big red 'fro and bigger calves would give him away before he could do anything. Unless he improves these two features, he will never be able to snipe anyone from "out of nowhere."

P.S. Don't let the picture with his adorable daughter fool you!

Honorable Mention #1 - Benjamin Washam

To me, Benjamin seems like the type of guy who, if waiting for you in a dark alley, would McGyver some contraption together to pepper you in the eyes, sweep your legs, and render your hands useless.

Don't really want to find out what this face means.

#5 - Tom Lips

Tom looks the part of back alley brawler. Yet, his achilles heel is that he is probably more likely to crack few jokes with you than hit you from behind with a trash can lid.

#4 - Jason Siemer

Jason might just be, pound for pound, the toughest man, woman, or child at evergreen. A few reasons for this is one - he just looks tough, and two - he would rather drink a Pabst or Coors as opposed to any of the wuss Portland microbrews - you decide what that means.

#3 - Travis Moore -

This is your classic "I never would have suspected Travis..." Watch him sometime on a Sunday morning. He's constantly scanning the room, watching for who is entering and leaving...looking for some kind of weakness to exploit. And he hides this under the quiet persona of Dad, Airline Pilot, and Master Brewer.

#2 - Cru Jones AKA Garrett Simpson -

The picture says it all

#1 - Benny Posedel -

First, he is America's Funniest Videos' biggest fan, so that makes him sick and sadistic. Second, his build is slight, which means he blends in. Third, he is really, really nice. All those things put together make him the #1 person that you would not want to meet in a dark alley!


chris leonardo said...


sleep with one eye open Dennis Bagby

these calves don't sleep, and they do get angry, my friend

Dustin said...

you mean Devinsky Vaughn.

i didn't write this one.

chris leonardo said...

devin, good work.

and Cru Jones, i gotta hear more about this!

Garrett said...

We never met a shiv we didn't like.