Favorite Reads of 2005

I'm sorry but I love lists, they help me to reflect on the year somehow so I promise that this is the last list I'm going to have about 2005. I'm ready to move on, I'm serious. Obviously these are not all books from 2005, some are very old but I don't really enjoy modern fiction much, I don't find the depth that I'm looking for there and am not all that excited by the stories. I find classic literature rich with meaning and story that is unparalleled so here goes.

1. The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
While reading this book I had the realization several times, "this is an inspired work that only could come from God."

"Ye who the things of God, which ought to be The brides of holiness, rapaciously For silver and for gold do prostitute."

I could read this book every year. This could be the best imaginative work I've ever read.


2. The Town and the City - Jack Kerouac

There is something that is appealing to me about Jack Kerouac that is hard to explain. Maybe it's his honest search for something significant in life or his nostalgia about a forgotten past. Whatever it is, it struck me hard in this story of the Martin family. I'm not sure I've ever felt closer to the characters in a story than I have these individuals. You can truly feel the pain, confusion, and joy of the characters. Beatifully written. I would say this is a masterpiece over the famous "On The Road" in a heartbeat. Kerouac describes everything worth describing and more in words you could never write yourself.

"The town is Galloway. The Merrimac River, broad and placid, flows down to it from the New Hampshire hills, broken at the falls to make frothy havoc on the rocks, foaming on over ancient stone towards a place where the rocks suddenly swings about in a wide and peaceful basin, moving on now around the flank of the town..."


3. The Last Word and the Word After That - Brian Mclaren
Mclaren's works have been groundbreaking for me in the past. I can literally say that "A New Kind of Christian" changed how I think about a lot of subjects for the better. His third book in the trilogy is no different, challenging our traditional view of hell as well as the context Jesus talks about hell in was once again mind bending and challenging as ever! Plus any book that inspired me to read "The Divine Comedy" can't be bad!



4. O Pioneers - Willa Cather

I love a good story of early America (especially Steinbeck). Cather hits in the same vein and this story has everything, murder, failure, struggle, and victory. Great story and sometimes as I read a book I just think, "women can write so much better then men most of the time." This makes me want to be a rugged pioneer on the brink of a new America! But then again, crap that would be hard. I'm not sure I'm man enough. Actually, I'm not sure I'm woman enough to make it either.

"All we ever managed to do is to pay our rent, the exorbitant rent that one has to pay for a few square feet of space near the heart of things. We have no house, no place, no people of our own. We live in the streets, in the parks, in the theatres. We sit in restaurants and concert halls and look about at the hundreds of our own kind and shudder."

5. A.K.A. Lost - Jim Henderson

This helped me to rethink the definition of "evangelism" as well as what "counts" as sharing and being good news to people that we come in contact with everyday. The point is not so much the information as it is the action. Also helped me to realize that people aren't as lost as they are missed.








6. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley

Can you believe I've never read this? Isn't everyone obligated to read this book in their lives? I feel cheated by public education! I never had to read anything and it pisses me off! Anyway, this is obviously a classic. If you haven't read it, it's well worth it. A gripping, sad story of an experiment gone wrong and the nature of true evil.






7. The Man Who was Thursday - G.K. Chesterton

Everyone and their mother quotes Chesterton so I figured it was time to read something from him on my own. This nightmarish spy novel surprised me in every chapter. An easy read and a rich imaginative tale in the vein of C.S. Lewis. Brilliant storytelling and the twists the plot takes are shocking and I'm still not sure i understand the full implications but I'm thinking about it as we speak.




8. The Pilgrims Progress - John Bunyan

This year seriously had to be the year I caught up on everything I probably should have read by now but never had to. Another classic and deservingly so. One man's journey of faith in a very obvious metaphorical way. It's not meant to be hard to understand but some people get frustrated by the obviousness of the whole story. But regardless I was able to appreciate it as a great spiritual journey.




9. Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson

ARGHHH! Best pirate story ever. Screw Pirates of the Caribbean. Seriously mom, why didn't you make me read this?










10. Journey to the Center of the Earth - Jules Verne

Great Science Fiction from the king of the genre. Who wouldn't want to read about a trip to the center of the earth? Although I heard the movie wasn't that good. Go figure. I think it's time for a remake.

So anyway, after the 40 or so books I read this year these are really the only ones worth mentioning. I really only read a few books that were blatantly bad but they're not really even worth ripping on. Feel free to add the good books you've read this year. And since it's 3:30am please disregard any spelling or grammatical errors because I don't really care.

My Completely Subjective Top 20 Albums of 2005

20. Editors - The Back Room


19. Son Volt - Okemah and the Melody of Riot


18. Nada Surf - The Weight is a Gift


17. M.Ward - Transistor Radio


16. John Vanderslice - Pixel Revolt

15. The National - Alligator


14. Josh Rouse - Nashville


13. Ben Folds - Songs for Silverman


12. Youth Group - Skeleton Jar


11. Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures

10. Andrew Bird & the Mysterious Production of Eggs



9. My Morning Jacket - Z



8. Eels - Blinking Lights and Other Revelations



7. Okkervil River - Black Sheep Boy


6. Iron & Wine - In the Reins

5. Death Cab for Cutie - Plans


4. The Decemberists - Picaresque


3. Ryan Adams & the Cardinals - Cold Roses


2. Sufjan Stevens - Come On Feel the Illinoise



1. Ryan Adams & the Cardinals - Jacksonville City Nights

Christmas Presents

Kelli had a pub sign made for me!



Our First Tree.


I bought Kelli tickets to Wicked.



Kelli after I tucked her in.



Impact Ministry Student Leaders.

Ashlee Suckson

Ashlee Simpson Passes Out After Performance.

Click link for story.

I sent Kelli the link and she said, "maybe her body is trying to tell her how awful her singing is."

I love my wife.

I'm a Non-Trad!

I've found something I want to do next semester since I've got some free time during the day. I'm doing something I never thought I would do. I'm going to be a non-trad. Back in the Lincoln days I always used this word as kind of a curse word. If you called someone a non-trad that was a horrible thing.

But I figured I might as well do something that I will enjoy on the side for fun but I have to warn you that this could change my reading list for the year which I'm a little upset about. This is the point some of you are going, "why do i read this nerds blog?" I don't know. This is a good example of blogging at it's worst. Anyway, i'm taking two classes as a non-degree student at USF. Here are the descriptions.

American Literature 4300 - The study of two or three related major authors in American literature, focusing on several major figures; the course may include such writers as Melville and Hawthorne, Hemingway and Faulkner, James and Twain, Pound and Eliot, Stevens and Lowell, etc. Specific topics will vary.

British Novel Through Hardy 4122 - A study of early and later British novels such as Fielding, Smollett, Sterne, Austen, Scott, Dickens, Eliot, and Hardy, among others.

I'm very excited about this because I love classic novels but have never gotten the chance to take any classes on classic authors so i'm very pleased that I will be able to. Plus both of the classes are on M,W back to back so it's only a 11-1pm commitment a week!

Ok, go ahead and read someone elses blog. I realize after this worthless post some of you won't be back but I implore you to reconsider because I'm sure at some point I will write an interesting post again! I apologize for blah.

Vocation, Vocation, Vocation

I have been looking at positions on www.churchstaffing.com lately and the more I look at the job descriptions, the more they become just that. Job descriptions. There's nothing exciting or particularly appealing about them. They are just a list of activities a minister will busy himself with once he fulfills all of the requirements to get the position in the first place. There is one church in particular that I sent my resume to just to test the waters and see if I am qualified for anything. I received a reply saying they were interested and then sent me a questionnaire to fill out. I knew right from the beginning of this questionnaire that I didn't want anything to do with this job because it was apparent it was a very growth/results obsessed church. More of a business than a body. The questions focused on what types of things I've started from scratch from birth to present and what the results were. They wanted to know in the past how I’ve integrated singles and young adults into the church, what best describes my experience with building teams, my experience leading small groups, how well I recruit and manage small group leaders and of course they end with wanting me to give an example of how a ministry has grown under my leadership. I'm so tired of this crap. They didn't ask me one question about my relationship with God. It's the same thing with every description I've looked into.

It saddens me because none of this is what I got into the ministry for. I remember in Bible College I had a pure, possibly even naive heart about what ministry was.
I looked at how my youth pastor really made a difference in people's lives and how people were being transformed. Ministry was about growing people, not growing out of buildings. But I've realized that I could probably do more ministry if I were not doing "Ministry". I wanted to become a minister, not an administrator or manager but the more I look the more I realize that the modern churches definition of ministry are not anything like what I was taught in Bible College. I'm going to continue to ask God for some kind of revelation and I'm hoping that He will show me a way to really serve people and not just manage them. If what I have been looking at is all that is available out there I guess it is time for a career change. I can't sit around and sulk at the state of the church forever.

In fact the more I think and pray about it, I know I don't want to work at an institutional church. I don't want to work at a large church with its policies, marketing and showmanship where I spend my day in an office trying to figure out how to convince more people to come to our church. Sometimes thinking of these churches I can almost feel what it would be like to work there, a slimy salesman trying to convince people to invest in the idea of Jesus. I don't feel good or right about it. Whatever I do next, I know it will be a smaller unconventional community. I've realized that there are positions that I could easily fill in a "seeker" church of 2000 people and probably have all the glory and attention I want but I wouldn't like myself. It's just not who God created me to be and I'm realizing that more daily.

The thing I keep thinking of are my friends that are brilliant, honest, that love God and have so many gifts to offer the community of faith and the world but have nothing to do with church. And I think to myself, these churches that I am sending my resume to are churches that these people would never set foot in and then I realized that if these people don't want to have a part of this, than neither do I. I want to be a part of a community that my friends would feel comfortable contributing and being honest in.

So with that in mind, I am going to stop applying to churches I know that I would never fit in with, give churchstaffing.com the finger and start praying that God will give me an opportunity where I will feel whole, where I can keep my integrity and my soul instead of becoming the slimy, manipulative dirtball that I could see myself becoming in many churches. I don't like that feeling. I don't like myself when I feel like that. God please show me something that I can get excited about. Reveal to me a place where my friends could belong and contribute and be able to express their love for you and others. Show me something that I can pour my heart into without reservation and want to get out of bed in the morning for.

For all those who got duped by good advertising

http://www.hugi.is/hahradi/bigboxes.php?box_id=51208&f_id=763

Words of wisdom from another Mac hater.

I love it.

Dinner and a Movie...and some more ants!

Here is a weekend update. For those who have no interest in what I did this weekend you will notice for your convenience I have labeled the parts where I talk about the ants like so ANTS so you will be able to skip right to the good parts.

Friday: Kelli and I went out to dinner with Rick and Kristi Friday night at "The Wine Exchange" near downtown Tampa. The food was excellent for the price and they had some good microbrews, I had Mendocino Eye of the Hawk (fair) and Samuel Smith Winter Welcome (i'm a sucker for winter beers, this one being very good!) Afterwords we saw Syriana. I honestly did not particularly like the film. I thought it may portray how the world views (and probably rightly so) Americans but other than that I didn't think it was that strong of a film. Rick may or may not disagree with me but i look forward to his review nonetheless.

Saturday: In the morning I made a trip to Lowes to buy buy caulk and some more ANT killer. I then spent the next hour sealing every possible hole that an ant could even think about slipping in on the walls, the baseboard, the outlets. I did everything! After all, this is war and you have to take certain precautions. After war preparations we went to the Michigan/University of South Florida basketball game which happened to be on ESPN 2, although i'm not sure why because it was a complete blowout which every game will be this year against USF. They're like a mediocre intramural squad with the exception of one, maybe two players. The point guard had more turnovers than most WNBA players have in their life. After that we stuck around for the girls game because they are actually good and gave a run to 15th ranked Michigan State. It was honestly a much more exciting game than the mens. Jessica Dickson whom we had the honor of having thanksgiving dinner with is a balla. No, not baller. She is an all out, could beat many of the guys on the mens team balla. She must have had 40 points. Wow, i was impressed. We were exhausted from watching 5 hours of basketball and fell asleep at 10:30. Pretty sad.

Sunday: Went to church and then over to a friends to watch the Bears/Steelers game. Damn. That's all I can say besides the fact that I was hoping when someone scored a touchdown they would do a snow angel but that didn't even happen. Double damn. When we came home I had another run in with the ANTS. I noticed by the pipe which I have discovered their nest was in, there were several hundred ANTS surrounding the rim of the hot water heater. I quickly got my spray and polished those suckers off feeling murderously good about it and thought I had won that battle handily. We then went to see Chronicles of Narnia which I enjoyed although I wish they would have made me endear Aslan a little more, didn't give him enough time to really make me all that upset that he died. That sounds bad doesn't it? It was entertaining nonetheless. I would also like to disagree with Rick as I feel like the resurrection scene was not very powerful. It was like, "he's dead how sad" and then, "oh wait, he's alive again." It just happened to unspectacularly for me I guess. I like that they kept the lines, "the lion is not tame." and then Lucy adds, "no, but he is good." I love that! Favorite part of the book.

Ok, another ANT story. This one of epic proportions! We came home and the first thing I always do is check for more ANTS because I've got to keep a handle on this. I went into the laundry room, looked around, didn't really see anything until I looked on top of the hot water heater (remember I sprayed the base earlier). Well this time as they were trying to escape the deadly spray, the remaining troops in the colony could only head straight up and hundreds of ANTS were cluttered all over the top. I'm not talking about a few, i'm distinctly saying HUNDREDS! I quickly called Kelli in, mostly for the entertainment value of her, "OH GROSS!" and then started the battle. I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed until it almost knocked me over with the fumes and I figured if i was almost to die, they were sure to face death. I was correct. As I speak the tiny little creatures are being melted away and probably burning in ANT hell and I couldn't be more at peace with life. May you never return ANTS or you will face the same demise. You bastards. I'm not naive enough to think the war is over, but this battle is and I came out victorious. Or at least I made myself feel victorious because in a sense there is absolutely no way to know if I'm winning, what winning means or if I will ever "win" this war. But it's like Bush says, "I just need to stay the course." Thanks President, I will!

Attacked by Ants!

We're under severe attack right now by the dreaded Crazy ant, which can be identified by how they run around in circles like they are crazy. Makes sense. Our kitchen has become a battleground of sorts and we are losing badly. These little bastards cannot be stopped! Spray only makes it worse, they don't take the bait. They can live freaking anywhere. They're coming out of appliances, electical outlets, my food! Everywhere! There is a line of them running on the floor from the wall they hide in to the pantry and then back. It doesn't matter how many of them you kill, they just keep coming back.

This weekend i'm going caulk every crevice, nook and cranny in the walls and seal up every possible entrance by these little guys. And then Tuesday the exterminator is going to spray and we're going to set liquid bait out. Hopefully over about three weeks this will take care of the problem. It's amazing how persistent and hard to stop these things are. That queen won't stop doing it! Anyone else had this problem? What did you do about it?

Get Your Miracle Spring Water Today!

Some real Testimonials from the website!
With my comments.

I wrote for prayer for my son, for a drinking problem. Well some weeks ago he told me he quit drinking! At three parties with alcohol, I observed no drinking and no smoking. I give God the Glory and Thank you.
--Sister B Sampson, Winnipeg, MB
My question is: what are you doing at three booze parties with your son?

Thank you for your prayers. Last week I found out that I had an account with enough money in it to pay almost all of my credit cards. This was a total surprise to me. Thank you again for praying with me.
--Sister C. Bercier, Vanier, ON Canada
Gosh I hate when I find out that I have thousands of dollars in an account! Always gets me!

I received the miracle spring water and the blessed cakes in Jesus' name. Everything around me and my family is different. Blessings have been occurring. You were not wrong; it was a $17,000 loan that was granted to me to pay off most of my debts. You're a guiding light. I thank the Lord for your prayers. I see myself now walking in the right path.
--Brother E. Sotomayor, Bronx, NY (4/22/04)
Not quite sure what the "blessed cakes" are but they sound delicious. One thing she might not have thought of is that the 17,000 dollar loan is still DEBT!

Rev Peter Popoff I am so glad that we are in contact with each other, your prayers for us is a blessing, one thing I have been asking the lord for was a home, thanks to you for all of your prayers my wish came true. I now have a home of my own and that's not all my husband received a $302,000.00 check in the mail the other day unexpectedly. You told me in the letter that miracle money would come true and it has. Thank you so very much for all of your prayers god is good and he has blessed me tremendously .
-- Mrs. Bladensburg
Must be Publishers Clearing House! She won!

Most Relevant Pastor Award

ORLANDO — Jim Turney of Raleigh won the coveted Most Relevant Pastor in America 2005 prize at a ceremony in November.
"It's fun to be recognized, but the glory goes up," he said, gesturing with the same hand in which he held his standard Starbucks double-shot vanilla latte — the one he takes with him to the pulpit on Sunday mornings.
Hundreds of pastors nominated by their churches for the award milled around the Hilton hotel lobby, standing in line at half a dozen coffee carts and swapping tips on which movie clips they are using lately as sermon illustrations. A knot of pastors stood in one corner and compared BlackBerries.
"Being with all these other relevant pastors is like being among family," said Cole Jenkins of Jackson, Mich.
Judges noted that Turney carefully selects the popular songs and TV shows to refer to in his sermons, and often preaches with his iPod earbuds draped around his neck. They gave him a 10 for Casual Demeanor and a 9 for Relevant References.
"The guy is in full relating mode with his congregation," said one judge. "He's completely dialed in."
The slightly less relevant runners-up didn't seem to mind missing the prize.
"We're all relevant, and that's what matters," said one. •

Hahahaha. I freaking love Lark News.
Check out this article and much more at www.larknews.com

By the way, i finally sold one of my stories to them. I will let you know when it's up!

Scumbag of the Week Award

"The Pharisees were a very zealous and conservative sectarian movement that Paul had been a part of prior to his conversion. They were highly committed to getting back to the Scriptures and their brand of hard-line-old-time religion. They developed a litany of laws to separate themselves from others in an effort to maintain their purity and righteousness by living in their own isolated culture. The Pharisees basically believed that they were good and clean before God, so they looked down on everyone else and conveniently overlooked their own sins and hypocrisy." Mark Driscoll

This is a great description of not only the Pharisees but this hideous creature who writes the article I have linked below. I can't describe the anger I feel after I read this slimeball's article. This description above couldn't have been written better.

http://www.newswithviews.com/PaulProctor/proctor82.htm

This could be the most hate filled, ridiculous articles I've ever read.

Smitten

Make sure you get yours today! www.smitten.com

It's even in a romantic heart shape! Hahahaha. Could you imagine wearing one of these. I can't stop laughing.

I thought this picture from before our wedding deserved some captions.

Late Night Octopus

Last night about an hour after Kelli and I had fallen asleep I awoke to blood-tingling, murderous screaming right next to me. I heard loud screams of "Get it off of me", "Help!", and more "Get it off, get it off." I woke up and instantly grabbed Kelli, whom these screams were convulsing out of and in my 2am mind tried to figure out what was going on. I kept telling her that it was alright and everything was fine. I finally realized she was having a nightmare. So I asked her what it was and what she said certainly took me by surprise but with completely straight, scared face she managed to get out, "it was an octopus." Hahahahaha. hahahahahaha. Oh man. I've never had a nightmare about an octopus but I can tell you after that experience, I don't want to! Must be terrifying!

Job Description

While checking out ministry jobs online today I came across this job description.

• • Minimum of 3 years full time experience leading a college and / or young adult ministry in a church of at least 2000 in weekend attendance
• • Currently on staff at a church of 2000+ in attendance
• • At least 3 years substantial numerical growth in college or young adult ministry
• • Must be open to the regular use of the gifts of the Spirit, including speaking in tongues and the interpretation of tongues

Ok, obviously very few would get excited about applying for this job because it's apparent from this that the most important thing to this church is numerical growth. But put that aside.

If you fit this description, meaning you are leading a church of at least 2000 and have had 3 years of substantial numerical growth, why would you leave? I think this one's going to be hard to fill. Not many pastors I know are going to say, "yeah, the heck with this booming, growing ministry. I'm outta here!"

Sweet Justice

T.O. Suspension Upheld.

Take that Drew Rosensuck.