Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Another Thomas Merton Thought

Thomas Merton always speaks to my heart regardless of what I am reading from him. God gave this man a gift of wisdom that is unparalleled amongst his contemporaries. Sometimes it's like he is speaking directly to my soul. I find such a tight connection with what he says in his writings.

I am forced to reflect on this one today and most likely for several days hereafter.

"Fickleness and indecision are signs of self-love. If you can never make up your mind what God wills for you, but are always veering from one opinion to another, from one practice to another, from one method to another, it may be an indication that you are trying to get around God's will and do your own wiht a quiet conscience.

As soon as God gets you in one monastery you want to be in another.

As soon as you taste one way of prayer, you want to try another. You are always making resolutions and breaking them by counter-resolutions. You ask your confessor and do not remember the answers. Before you finish one book you begin another, and with every book you read you change the whole plan of your interior life.

Soon you will have no interior life at all. Your whole existence will be a patchwork of confused desires and daydreams and velleities in which you do nothing except defeat the work of grace: for all this is an elaborate subconscious device of your nature to resist God, Whose work in your soul demands the sacrifice of all that you desire and delight in, and, indeed, of all that you are.

So keep still, and let Him do some work.

This is what it means to renounce not only pleasures and possessions, but even your own self."

If you've never read Thomas Merton you should pick up something of his. Maybe start with New Seeds of Contemplation or No Man is an Island. Incredibly profound and has really opened my eyes to the wonders of God.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Check Out My New Blog

I bought my beer brewing equipment this weekend and am going to be brewing a Brown Ale recipe this next Sunday so I figured I would start a new blog stricly dedicated to beer reviews and beer brewing. I'm very new at this so i expect people who are really into beer will find the reviews foolish and uninformed and my misques brewing very amateur but it's a craft that I respect the more and more I see how much goes into it and how long it takes to learn. This is not an easy craft! So if you are a beer fan or would like to make beer suggestions please visit my new one:

ON TAP AT O'BAGBY

Thursday, February 16, 2006

GRRRRRRRRRR. Angry Baby Kelli


I would be angry if i was wearing that dress too!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sea World Pics Pt. 2





























Shamu and Namu















Look close! It's the Leafy Sea Dragon. My favorite sea creature.















The lion fish. My second favorite sea creature.















I don't think i've ever actually seen a Pink Flamingo before this point.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Sea World Pics Pt. 1















Kelli and I went to Sea World this weekend. Her parents bought us tickets for Christmas and Foreigner was playing this weekend so we thought it would be perfect timing. We didn't actually go to the Foreigner show but we did hear "Hot Blooded" and "Cold As Ice" from afar. More pics to come, including of the one and only Shamu!















There were several of these at the front of Sea World. I've always wondered what is stopping some of these birds that wander around the theme park from 1) leaving and going somewhere wild. 2) eating my face.















One of these birds feels like I used to feel in Harlem!















Kelli and I bought some food and got to feed a seal but we forgot to take pics of it so we thought we would take a picture of these people feeding one.















King Penguins, very much like the Emperor Penguins in "March of the Penguins".

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Statewide Retreat Pics Pt. 2

The Orange Grove by Camp Aurora.














Yuck! Stepped on this rotten thing.













Just a little guy.



























Kelli is on the trail of something.












Seeds

"Do you think the way to sanctity is to lock youself up with your prayers and your books and the meditations that please and interest your mind, to protect yourself with many walls, against people you consider stupid? Do you think the way to contemplation is found in the refusal of activities and works which are necessary for the good of others but which happen to bore and distract you? Do you imagine that you will discover God by winding yourself up in a cocoon of spiritual and aestetic pleasures, instead of renouncing all your tastes and desires and ambitions and satisfactions for the love of Christ, Who will not even live within you if you cannot find Him in other men?"

Thomas Merton (New Seeds of Contemplation)

This really struck a chord with me today. There is so much emphasis of finding and focusing on your strengths and preferences within the consumer church world that you rarely are allowed the opportunities to find God in the things you don't enjoy. Sometimes I think I need to do things I don't want to do for no other reason than for the good of people. And more so to spend time with people that I would rather not and then take a step beyond that and see Christ in those people! What a challenge! Thanks Tommy.

I Caved In

I apologize ahead of time for this because I realize that no one cares about my answers to these stupid questions but I feel like I've had this blog for all this time and have never done one of these things! But mostly I blame Simpkins who made me think it was ok to do this!

Four jobs I have had

1. Stock boy at IGA for a few years. Great job compared to the rest of what you could have in El Paso, IL.
2. Dishwasher at the Elms Buffett. This was probably the worst job I've ever had!
3. Librarian at LCC. I know, i don't really fit the part.
4. Detassler for several years through junior high and some of high school.

Four movies I can watch over and over

1. Office Space
2. Dirty Work
3. Billy Madison
4. Airplane

Four Albums I've had on repeat

1. Editors - The Back Room
2. Hard-Fi - Stars of the CCTV
3. Over the Rhine - Drunkard's Prayer
4. Ryan Adams - Jacksonville City Nights

Four places I have lived

1. Enid, Oklahoma
2. Tampa, Florida
3. New York, New York
4. El Paso, Illinois

Four TV shows I love

1. Arrested Developmen
2. Lost (Yes, i'm hooked)
3. The OC (shut your dirty mouth)
4. Seinfeld (i still watch it every night at least once)

Four places I've vacationed

1. St. Lucia
2. Greneda (technically this was a mission trip but i use the term very loosely)
3. Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, and the Oregon Coast (we leave March 10th!)
4. Having a hard time thinking of a fourth. I live in Tampa and sometimes that is like a vacation.

Four of my favorite dishes

1. Filet Mignon at Smith and Wollensky's.
2. Chicken Crispers at Chili's. (Bill Wolf not only introduced me to Christ but also to the Crispers. You're a true friend Bill!)
3. Mahi Mahi
4. Anything Kelli makes! (this ought to score me a few points!)

Four sites I visit daily

1. Pitchfork Media
2. CNN
3. ESPN
4. Stereogum

Four places I would rather be right now

1. At Peculier Pub (still my favorite bar of all time)
2. Playing Buck Hunter with Elvyss at Kabin.
3. At Sea World with Kelli (only two more days!)
4. At a Ryan Adams Concert (minus his useless banter)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

26 Years Ago Today


A fat baby was born....

My Response to Mark Cahill

This weekend I was at the Florida Statewide Retreat listening to a speaker named Mark Cahill who is better known for his book, “The One Thing You Can’t Do In Heaven.” He seems to me to have a fundamentalist background as he believes in the KJV very strongly if not exclusively as well as being in love with tracts and talking about hell. I came in very skeptical of this retreat mostly because it was called, “Can I Get a Witness?” I have been to these type of things before so I was ready for an in your face type of weekend where we are quilted into sharing our faith with complete strangers. I feel like I need to respond mostly for my own benefit as I have been processing what he has taught over the last few days. Let me say that I do not do this in anything but a spirit of love and I also do this because I think Mark would want me to do this since he talked several times about how we need to be very careful what we are taught and not take everything at face value. I agree and in that spirit will respond to some of what I heard. I also want to say before anything else that I did appreciate Mark’s heart for those that Jesus misses most. It is not doubt out of a sincere appreciate for what God has done for him personally that Mark wants other people to experience the life that Jesus Christ has given him. So with that said, here we go!

The first thing I noticed about Mark’s presentation was his focus on the afterlife. He told stories of close to death experiences where people would wake up saying, “The flames, the flames, etc.” A majority of the substance of the first session seemed to be on whether a person would go to heaven or to hell. His goal of evangelism is to get people saved so they can go to heaven when they die and that is the focus of most of his teaching from here on out. My question has always been, “What about this life?” The afterlife is only 33 1/3 % of the gospel? Why all the morbid stories of death and hell when that is just one part of the full gospel? Not only that but that is how he starts conversations with the age old Evangelism Explosion styled, “If you died tonight would you be 100% sure you would go to heaven?” I don’t want to discredit this question because I think it is important but I’m not sure about it being a great conversation starter nor should people be guilted or scared into becoming a Christian. I think that is why we have so many mediocre lifeless (“gross’ in his own words) Christians today is because they are scared to not be a “Christian” because they don’t want to go to hell so they stick around the church doing absolutely nothing of value and frustrate the crap out of everyone. So is there a better starting place for the gospel then hell and flames and burning and death? That doesn’t sound like good news to me. I believe that hell is a very real place no matter what the substance may be. Whether it is literal flames or just being separated from God, it’s bad. But what if we actually started with “good news”? Isn’t the fact that God wants a relationship with you great news? Is that a better starting place than trying to scare people? Next…..

He told a story about praying in a crowded restaurant with a large group of people before dinner. He asked, “When you pray in a restaurant should you pray soft or should you pray loud?” He said, “Loud, of course! Everyone should hear you praying in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.” I have personally had experiences with those who have prayed extraordinarily loud and I must say it just left me feeling like a complete ass, enough so that I wanted to apologize to the people for the “pray-er” being obnoxious. This is my question. Where is the line between being bold and being obnoxious? That is a HUGE issue in evangelism for me.

The biggest problem I had with Mark’s talk was that he obviously has the gift of evangelism. He can talk to anyone under the sun and really loves to talk to complete strangers. He is very much like Neil Cole in this respect and I love that! But he goes on to make everyone think that they can do exactly what he does when it is clear that not everyone has the gift of evangelism. I think many people will walk away from the retreat discouraged or thinking that something is wrong with them for not being able to do the things that he does. He told a ton of stories which was good but I would have liked to have heard more of your failures as well as your stories with incredible results. It would have made me feel more human. But instead it made me discouraged thinking that I could never do that. Not everyone has the gift of evangelism. Not everyone can do what he does and I think he misled a lot of people thinking they can do what he does. That is what I appreciate about Jim Henderson’s book, “Aka Lost; Reaching the People Jesus Misses Most” because it lets people know how you can make ordinary attempts to share your faith.

Mark Cahill is very very very big on tracts. He wants to get a tract in everyone’s hand that he can. He stands outside of stadiums, he goes to the gay and lesbian festival in Atlanta, is constantly handing the out in airports, etc. I have always hated tracts every since I have my first experience with them at a Marilyn Manson concert. I have found them relatively useless and have seen 0% fruit from them or from those I know. I’m not for sure but maybe Mark knows how to use them better than I do. I have never found them to be very helpful but he certainly has so God bless him! My struggle has always been with this question: “Is lack of information really the problem of why people don’t come to a relationship with Jesus Christ?” Do they really not know about sin and salvation? Is that the barrier or is it that they haven’t seen the gospel lived out in the lives of believers? Or maybe it’s both! Not to mention that a majority of tracts are just not well written or they are in an obnoxious and arrogant spirit that would turn 99.9 percent of the people that read them off to Jesus.

I loved his emphasis on planting seeds. Not everyone is ready for harvest. People have gotten away from the idea of planting seeds and just want to get people to cross the line when that is really God’s job to make happen. So hooray for seed-planters!

Mark believes strongly in the KJV. He said once that, “I went all the way back to the KJV and this is how it is translated correctly.” Why not go all the way back to the Greek and see what it really says? I have yet to look up the verse in Revelation that he did not agree with the translation on but I’m not sure it matters either way it is translated. I believe it says the same thing in both translations. You could have done without giving us an earful about that one.

Mark said that “The church is for believers who can be equipped and taught to make disciples; it’s not meant to be an attention getter to get non-believers to Church to hear the truth, which is the job of the Christian. You will never see the Church in the Bible trying to get non-Christians there, but rather Christians are going out from the church to make disciples.” I totally agree with Mark’s point here. He seems very missional but again missional in a method that I would not want to partake in completely.

Once he ripped The Purpose Driven Life (which isn’t terribly difficult) for Rick Warren using 15 different translations. He asked the question, “Why in the world would someone have to use 15 different translations?” The obviously answer is because he is trying to make Scripture say what he wants it to say. Once again, I would agree completely. I don’t think that is good use of Scripture and is one of the reasons I don’t like the book very much. But there is the opposite end of the spectrum that has seen several people come back to church or start spending time with the Church community for the very first time because of this book! To me it makes me realize that God truly can work through anything, even a book that is the equivalent of Nickleback’s music (easy target).

I respect what Mark Cahill does and am glad that God has given those people the gift to do what they do. I really am thankful. And I appreciate his passion and how he encouraged me to think how I can be more intentional with people I meet. I love his heart but I don’t believe everyone can use the method he uses effectively. God has created some people different than that. I’m not using this as an excuse not to “evangelize” but I think there are different ways to go about it.

Overall I thought I was going to disagree with much more than I did. I ended up actually enjoying Mark and his heart for the lost. I can sense his sincerity in what he does and I think he does witness in a graceful and loving way which I can appreciate. So thank you Mark for the challenge! We need to be shaken a little once in a while to get out of our comfort zones. I’m still not ready to start walking around malls and asking unsuspecting shoppers if they were going to hell until I got kicked out by security guards which is what a majority of the students did that day but you certainly got me thinking so thank you!

Be the next Joel Osteen!



Check this out: Mega Church Game

This is freaking hilarious! I love it!

Thanks to Brian Moll for emailing this to me!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Cheated Out of a Great Game

Five Reasons the Refs Ruined the Superbowl:

1. Ben's Non-Touchdown Touchdown. Clearly didn't break the plain. That was a horrible call and even worse when it wasn't reversed.

2. Offensive Pass Interference on D. Jackson's touchdown pass. Give me a break, you wouldn't call this in a regular season game. Terrible.

3. Holding call after the pass to the 2 yard line from Hassleback.
Obviously no hold on the replay. He had his hands in front of him the entire time! This would have put Seattle up by 3 points.

4. No call on the tackle made on Alexander with his collar which is illegal.

5. Illegal Block on Hasselback which was not even a block, it was a tackle which is legal!
This gave Pittsburg great field position to throw their "gadget" play (Madden couldn't have possibly said "gadget" anymore than he did last night.

The big media story all week was, "Bettis is coming home to Detroit, his last game ever, his only shot at a Super Bowl, blah blah blah." It's not a shocker that the refs were adamently against Seattle. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist but this game was just blatant. Hard to argue with that after seeing all the horrible calls go against Seattle. I'm not even a Seattle fan and had nothing in the game but I felt bad for the way they were raped. I would agree with Bill Simmons who said the flags started to look like Terrible Towels being thrown on the field. And yes Steelers Fans, i believe this as much as you believe they wanted Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl. My friend John put it well last night when he said, "after Peyton Manning didn't get there they hopped on the bus and rode him all the way" which is what you saw displayed so perfectly last night. It's amazing how the media affects (corrupts) this game at every level isn't it?

It's funny, i got done writing this a few hours ago and just went to Espn.com and saw this article which pretty much says the same thing I did except way better. Check it out HERE.

Favorite Line of the Game: "Well John, right now they've got towels around him so they can pull down his pants and tape up his groin." That was a little too graphic for what was necessary.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

I'm Speechless

This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. For only 2,000 dollars you can hang out with Ed Young. Wow! I agree with XXX Church who said, "I don't know who's dumber, the Christians that are offering this or the Christians who pay that kind of money to attend this. Unbelievable. And yes, this is for real!

Total Access

Spend three days in Total Access with Senior Pastor Ed Young and the executive staff of Fellowship Church. You've heard about our growth and creativity, now you can experience the strategic planning and creative process first-hand as we take you behind the scenes.

You'll have full access to our executive team meeting, creative team meetings, and to staff members you wish to talk with.

It's the inside stuff, behind the scenes, under the hood, exclusive look that only comes from having Total Access.
Who Should Attend

Total Access is designed exclusively for Senior Pastors and spouses. Whether you're planting a brand-new church or are a seasoned ministry veteran, Total Access will take your church to the next level.

Spouses are included at no additional charge and are encouraged to join us. Visit the Schedule to see the many activities available for spouses. Once you register for the conference, someone from our staff will contact you regarding the activities your spouse will attend.
Upcoming Dates

April 29-May 2, 2006
September 23-26, 2006
Overview

The most commonly asked questions we receive at Fellowship Church are:

* How do you do what you do?
* How does Fellowship Church maintain its incredible creativity?
* What propels the church's phenomenal growth?

The answer is simple - it's something you have to experience.

Total Access!

Executive staff members will guide you behind the scenes of different areas of the church during one of our four worship services. You will have two sessions to spend with executive team pastors of your choice. Use this time to address the specific needs of your ministry through brainstorming, troubleshooting, and vision-building.
Register
Costs

Total Access is limited to 12 senior pastors. The all-inclusive package for this three-day event is $2,000 (save 25% with your Fellowship Connection Membership).

Spouses are included at no additional charge and are encouraged to attend.

The conference includes:

* Three nights stay at the Outdoor World Embassy Suites
* Four meals
* Dinner with Ed and Lisa Young in their home
* All local transportation
* 25% coupon to the Fellowship Church Bookstore and Café

State Wide Retreat Pics Pt. 1

























































Thursday, February 02, 2006

"solitude becomes really hard when you realize that nobody is thinking about you anymore. Then some place for God might become available in your occupied heart and mind."
Henri Nouwen - The Genesee Diary

This makes a lot of sense to me. I remember when I left New York there was a selfish fear as I was stepping out of the limelight. I was no longer Dustin the missionary in New York City and part time mediocre comedian that people were impressed with. I was left with just Dustin the guy who had no job and got to live in a place with warm weather. I am dealing with the fact that I am no longer asked to speak at missionary conferences or write for any more Relevant Books or give lectures on church planting.

I remember when I first moved down here that I had to keep telling people that I lived in New York for the last three and a half years because somehow it had become part of my identity. Something that I relied on. Something I knew would always make people say, "wow!" Now I had nothing. I was just an average guy who lived in an average city. It has been a crushing blow to my ego to not have something to define me. At least I didn't think I did.

I have had several great breakthroughs in the last 6 months and feel like God has broken through the clouds of my own inflated ego. I was living more for the attention than for God. My ego was getting too big and it was time to step back and refocus on what I was doing and why. I am thankful for the last six months and the time I have gotten to be by myself, to think, to learn, to read, to pray, to sit in silence and try to hear the elusive voice of God. And things are starting to become clearer. I no longer am defined by my career or how impressed people are with me.

I am not defined by my ministry achievements or how people perceive me. I am not defined by how big or how small my church is. In fact, i'm starting to not be concerned with those things at all and that's how I know that God is getting me to come around to the fact that the history of the universe is not dependant upon me. The weight of the world does not rest on my shoulders. What a relief! I don't know where I got the idea that I was so important to the survival of mankind! Where does all the pressure come from? Is it our ministry peers who seem to be doing "great" things for God? Are we trying to keep up? Is it our seminary education that pounds it in to our head that we are the most important people on earth and we better make sure we are prepared for every question and problem that comes our way or people will go to hell? Do we really lack that much faith in God to believe such a lie?

I hope not. I've started to realize that if you are at a church of 50 or 5,000 you can still only impact and shepherd so many people personally. So what do i care if i'm investing in 10 people in a church of 50 or 5,000. If I'm in a church of 50 it just means I don't have to sit through near the number of pointless meetings and spend three days doing administrative managerial work I was never trained to do. I would prefer small myself. The only reason i would want to work at a big church is my own ego. So I could tell people, "yeah I work at Huge Ass Church down the street." Some people work at a big church with pure motives and a good heart and are much more mature than I am to be able to handle it. For others it is all they talk about. "We've got this many people, we've got awesome programs, we're growing every week!"

What are you defined by? I learned the hard way about being defined by what you do and success, it's an endless cycle of ego boosting, flapping your mouth all the time, making sure people know what your doing and how successful you are and I want to be through with that. I pray that God gives me the maturity to realize where my worth really comes from. It's certainly not my success in a career but from a God who loves me. I hope that I can someday sit in a room by myself, rest in God's presence and just know that I am loved without feeling the need to prove myself by my achievements or worry about what others will say about me. I hope someday I can be silent and not care whether anyone is thinking about me or not. Maybe then I will finally hear the voice I've been waiting my entire life to hear.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Random


This is a very strange post but i like this salsa so much that I just had to tell you about it! If you see this in the store, buy it! It is delicious. For those Tampanians I found it in Kash N Karry in the ethnic section and it is wonderful! It is made on a ranch in Texas so it's got to be good. www.jardinefoods.com. If you are really desperate you can order a bunch of different kinds of salsa online. You may think that me taking the time to tell you about good salsa is strange but when you taste this yummy goodness you will thank me!