My Day With Tito: Pt. 1

When Tito came to our apartment he was very energetic and excited to be in a new environment because his owner beats him which you can see by the bruises of his eyes. That crazy woman should be locked up for years! Poor Tito!






















Tito and I played with his ball for a long time because his owner never plays with Tito and any kind of attention he gets is very rare. I've never seen a dog more excited to just play a little ball.
















After Tito gets his toys he is careful to keep them close because his owner usually grabs them out of Tito's mouth, sometimes ripping out teeth and hides them from Tito for days on end leaving him nothing to play with. She is evil! Poor puppy.
















Tito got worn out from playing with his ball and fell asleep. His owner doesn't let him sleep at home. She keeps him up by playing loud music and poking him in the gut. She keeps the music on right by his kennell all night so he can't sleep while she gets a great rest in her comfy bed! This is the first time he has slept in weeks!
















Tito encounters Mr. Tuttle, Kelli's stuffed turtle after another nap in our bed. He is thrilled to see another creature because his owner doesn't ever let him have contact with animals, stuffed or real! If another animal comes close to Tito she shoots it with a gun and laughs.

By the way, this evil womans name is Stephanie Roberts. You would be wise to stay away from this psychopath. Kelli and I are hoping to kidnap Tito and take him to a safe place where the evil witch of Tampa will never be able to hurt poor Tito again.


Part Two Coming!

P.S. - man i hope people don't take this seriously. Mostly for Stephanie's sake !

Son Volt Live

Saturday night Rick, Adam and I went over to downtown St. Petersburg to see Son Volt perform at Jannus Landing. Before we hit the show we stopped by a bar called Independent which put me right back in New York as beers were 6-8 dollars which has never seemed to phase me. It had a plethura of Belgium and Polish beers in which I had a Hobgoblin (which I would give an A) and some beer that I can not pronounce but was equally tasty. It was a winter brew so it had a little spice to it but also had similarities to a Lambic in a weird way. In any case, downtown St. Pete is WAY better than what we have in Tampa. I almost felt like a member of the human race again unlike the dehumanizing, cheap party crowd of Ybor City (minus the daylight hours). Plus I was offered drugs twice both being of the pain killer kind. Why do people get hooked on pain killers? Just curious, it's never been even slightly appealing to me although we did have a great conversation around beers about weed. My favorite line of the night would have been Adam's response to the old guy asking us if we were interested in Percocet (sp?) where he simply replied, "I'm just a guy." I cannot remember for the life of me in which context he said that line in but at the time it was very funny and right before another gentleman asked if we'd like to give him a quarter and then showed us his papers discharging him from prison. After which, he offered us drugs taking away my curiousity of how he got sent to prison in the first place.

The show was pretty good. Outdoor venues typically have subpar sound, Jannus being no exception. The music was loud which was great, but the vocals were smothered the entire night which was an insult to Jay Farrar's often monotonous but somehow melodic and inviting voice. They ended their set with Windfall, Drown and a song I don't remember ever hearing. Windfall was the highlight of the show for me. I have a hard time describing the feeling the song gives me but it just makes me want to get out on the road and drive. Son Volt played for over 2 hours which tends to make fans very quickly out of the "just along for the ride" type of people. In this venue there seemed to be plenty of those. Seemed like most people were more interested in drinking 24 ounces of urine-flavored water (Miller Lite) than watching a great show and a spectacular lead guitarist. At the end of the show I regretted my decision to not but the Percocet after having a headache from hearing the jock behind me not shut up about College Football the entire show which to me is the curse of living in the South. It is clear that Wilco got the better end of the deal in the Uncle Tupelo split but it doesn't mean Son Volt doesn't have anything that will make you want to buy a Gibson Hummingbird, some cowboy boots and start learning Willie Nelson songs either. Fun show, great weather, mediocre fans and venue.

Introducing Tito

Kelli and I are dogsitting today. His name is Tito and he's a Toy Poodle. Say hello! I will have a complete blog of our day together very soon, complete with pictures.

Return of the Ants!

This morning Kelli woke me up and said that the ants had invaded our bathroom so I checked it out and sure enough there was a line coming around the shower of ants everywhere. I grabbed a thing of Terro Ant Killer and sat it in their path and twenty minutes later they were surrounding it. Make sure you click on the pic for the full size. This is still not near the amount I killed on the hot water heater. I wish that i could have gotten a picture of that. This Terro should do the trick here though! I hate Crazy Ants!

Gizoogle

My Blog All Pimped Out - Click

My favorite line so far that Kelli pointed out: "tha perfect example of indigenous missionizzles like a motha fucka."

Make sure to pimp out your blog. www.gizoogle.com

Thanks to Billy for sending this to me.

Wine, Spears, and Bowling Balls

This weekend Kelli and I made our rounds. On Saturday afternoon we went to the Florida Estates Winery in Land O Lakes for a wine "festival" and tasting. I use the word "festival" losely as it was basically in a guys backyard. The wine was fairly good however and we enjoyed ourselves. Our favorite was probably the Plantation Spice which they gave us chocolate to eat with. It was a very good dessert wine. I am a big red wine fan but the stuff they have was fair, but not overwhelming.

Saturday night we went to see "End of the Spear" with John and Taryn. If you are not familiar, this is the story of the Jim Elliot family who were missionaries to a remote tribe in the Amazon. I thought the movie was excellent. It was very powerful to hear if from the perspective of the tribe and not just the missionaries. I also really liked the fact that the name of Jesus was never mentioned in the film. You might wonder why I liked that and it is basically because they were the perfect example of indigenous missionaries. They used what the tribe already knew about "God" and put it in their language. I thought it was phenomenal. I imagine the fundies are all up in arms however, but if that is the case they have missed the point of the movie. Well worth seeing.

Today after church we went bowling where I dominated all but one. I scored a 167 and a 151. Grant beat me with a score of 167 and 152. How do you like that? It was supposed to be 2 hours of bowling for 8 dollars but what they didn't tell us is that it was also the same time as 76 different birthday parties for children. At one point they made everyone stop bowling and line up on the lanes so everyone could dance. Not just one song however, but THREE songs totalling 17 minutes of time we could have been bowling. They stole our money! John V got reprimanded by the middle aged woman leading this dance of idiocy as even the kids were hoping to the god they worship that she wouldn't make them do another song. But oh no, how can you stop with the Hokey Pokey? It natually leads into the Electric Slide and the Chicken Dance. Kill me.

Over the Hedge

I am excited to see this! If you haven't watched the trailer make sure you check it out. Looks really funny!

Click Here for More Info and WATCH THE TRAILER!

Another Church Experiment

One of the "Pointe" churches I talked about in the last post had this as "How We Minister". Feel free to point out anything that may be funny to you. I'm interested to hear your responses once again.

"Our goal is to meet your spiritual, emotional, and physical needs with a balanced ministry mix. The "Blank" Pointe family is where you will meet people who are warm and will make you feel at ease. All "Blank" Pointe worship experiences, LIFE Groups, and support groups are designed for high life application and will enhance your life skills. LIFE Groups are forming in the area for all ages. You may remain anonymous and simply observe or linger and enjoy meeting people for refreshments."

By the way, they also have a link and picture of Saddleback and Willow Creek on their "About Us" page. This is something I have never seen before. Sometimes one or the other, but never both! That is idolatrous! And their section about "Why Jesus?" starts with the 70's classic, "If you died tonight, would you be sure you would be with God in Heaven???"

Ok, i'm done being a jerk.

Just for the record...

I have received a postcard inviting me to a first service of all three of these churches in the last four months. Cyprus Pointe; North Pointe; Life Point.

They are all within about 2 miles of each other. They might have wanted to coordinate the name and location thing before starting out. Ouch! The church has really gotten into the whole "point" thing, especially the "pointe" thing. Isn't that a typo ? Microsoft Word tells me it's a typo. What does "pointe" mean rather than "point". I'm confused but am slow at many things.

Just curious if anyone had the answer.

Actually nevermind, i just looked it up in the dictionary.

Pointe:
"French pointe (du pied), literally, tiptoe
: a ballet position in which the body is balanced on the extreme tip of the toe"

Ok, now I'm actually more confused why churches are picking a French word for a ballet position to describe their church.

Steve Smith Vs. Charles Tillman

Obviously Steve Smith won as did his Panthers. I was really surprised by three things in this injury ridden game.

1. Vasher wasn't covering Steve Smith more, instead Tillman was getting dominated all four quarters.

2. The Bears defense forgot to show up to a home game.

3. Someone didn't knock Jake Delhomme out for being a fruitcake.
(now I know what poor sportsmanship really is. Delhomme is the new Leinart)

Oh well, sure i'm disappointed in the Bears but honestly good defense can only get you so far. What the Bears really need are some good players. Seriously, we don't have one star offensive player (say what you will about Grossman or Jones).

Where Have You Been?

create your own personalized map of the USA

Saw that Doug did this on his blog so I figured I would follow suit. I still have some places I need to go. The problem is that I can't remember if I have ever been to Rhode Island, Delaware, or Vermont for anything. I lived in New York for a while so I almost can't believe I have never been there but if I did visit it was not very memorable.

Wishful Thinking

This week I had my first introduction to Frederick Buechner and have realized now why everyone quotes him so frequently. Such a brilliant and humourous guy. I want to share one thought from the book with you for your own pleasure. I really don't have anything to add to it, just thought you would like it.

Church:
The visible church is all the people who get together from time to time in God's name. Anybody can find out who they are by going to church to look.
The invisible church is all the people God uses for his hands and feet in this world. Nobody can find out who they are except God.
Think of them as two circles. The optimist says they are concentric. The cynic says they don't even touch. The realist says they occasionally overlap.
In a fit of high inspiration, the author of the Book of Revelation states that there is no temple in the New Jerusalem, thus squelching once and for all the tedious quip that since Heaven is an endless church service, anybody with two wits to rub together would prefer Hell.
The reason for there being no temple in the New Jerusalem is presumably the same as the reason for Noah's leaving the ark behind when he finally makes it to Mount Ararat.

Organic Church

I have just finished reading Neil Cole's "Organic Church" which I gained much from. He has helped me think through, not just in this book but a workshop in New York, what it means to be the church. What does the church look like? Does the church have to look the way it has looked for the previous 50 years? Here is a thought from the book.

"My coworker and friend Brad Fieldhouse found an advertisement in a Christian publication that claimed having a new digital sign on the front lawn was the secret to 100 percent of a church's growth. Oh, how far we have wandered from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. do we really think that our great programs will impress the non-Christians in our community to such an extent that they will say, "Hey, that's a nice sign. And check out the parking lot. Wow, I want to be a Christian too!"

We cannot compete with Hollywood when it comes to entertainment. The best preachers cannot out-entertain Jay Leno and David Letterman, with teams of talented writers. The best worship band cannot put ona better show than the Rolling Stones, No Doubt, or Green Day. Our buildings are not so nice as the ones that corporate America is constructing; in fact, other religions and cults are outdoing us architecturally. Have you seen any Christian movies? Please! We are not able to come up against the world, play its game, and win. it is a foolish strategy - and a needless one.

Suppose for a moment that this strategy actually works. Imagine that hundreds of people come to us because they are impressed by our music, children's programs, clean toilets, and parking spaces. What if suddenly being a Christian is cool and the newest fad is to attend church. What have we done? are we better off? I don't think so. Now we have churches full of consumers looking for the one that offers the best "service" for them or their family. Wherever the next great show is, that is where the multitudes will flock. Does it sound familiar at all?

What we draw them with is what we draw them to. If they come expecting to be entertained, we had better entertain them if we want to keep them coming back every week. This mentality creates a vicious circle of endless program upgrades, staff improvements, and building campaigns to feed the consumer monster. The monster is always hungry. Pastors are burned out. members are marginalized and lost in programs. The lost community gets a corrupted caricature of the Kingdom of God."

I like the heart of Neil Cole and was blown away by his passion for the Church when I got to be a part of his workshop. I also like the idea of the organic, or simple model of church. Obviously he states a problem of the church very well here and I think he has a pretty legitimate solution in Organic Faith. I still have some questions and am not sure exactly how it works but I am very interested nonetheless. We'll see what happens.

King Kong

Kelli and I went to see the long awaited 3 hour 7 minute King Kong last night. I went in to the film open minded and excited about what I had heard so far although it was somewhat mixed reviews. On the way out the first thing out of my mouth was, "well, that was terrible." Terrible it was. The length was the main problem. It would have been a better movie had an hour been cut out of it. Peter Jackson truly needs an editor! Every scene was drug out to enormous length, especially the fight scenes on the island. Seriously, how long did Kong and that dinosaur fight? I could have gotten up and peed, drove somewhere, had a beer, come back to the theatre, peed again and those things would still be going at it.

Not to mention you can only take so many stupid glares between the Kong and the girl before you say to yourself, "this is idiotic." The most idiotic thing about this relationship is that the girl never said one thing to anyone else. All she yelled was "nooooooooo" as everyone was trying to kill this beast (rightfully so, i wouldn't want to die either). She never pleaded with anyone saying, "this thing saved my life, it's not bad, etc." It was simply a "nooooooo" over and over again. By the end, i was bored out of my mind and after seeing what's her face climb three levels on the top of the Empire State building just to give the ape what Kelli coins as "the look" I was ready for both of them to die. There is really only one word that comes to mind when I think of this film and that is bloated. Every scene was completely overdramatic and predictable. Every look, every shot was created to be of epic proportions and it just didn't work. And unfortunately I can't get that stupid look that the girl had with Kong out of my head! But after watching it in 67 separate scenes for 7 minutes each, i'm not sure how anyone can. I respect Peter Jackson and what he did for Lord of the Rings but this was a remake I would have wished they would have left undone. Other than that before the movie I saw a preview for Miami Vice. I'm sure that will be good, right?

John Davis

If you haven't heard it already, check out John Davis' solo CD from thsi past year. He was the lead singer of the great power pop band Superdrag and just this past year has started to follow Jesus and this cd is kind of a testimony to that. It's very Beatlesque and a great pop album. Very inspiring to hear his story.

Check it out!

Church Job Description Experiment

There is a church in my area in Tampa that I will leave un-named that I saw a job description for a youth minister online while i was browsing around. Here are some tidbits. I'm posting this and not saying anything about it. I just want you to tell me what stands out to you. I'm doing this experiment to see if I'm normal or not so please comment on anything that sticks out to you.

1. Leadership gift with deep spiritual relationship with God
2. Strong personal drive
3. Creative
4. Team-oriented
5. Highly relational
6. Able to take a strong foundation and take it to the next level
7. Strong integrity
8. Able handle a lot of autonomy
9. Able to organize teams, budget, and students together and rally them to achieve ministry goals and objectives.
10. MUST have Purpose-driven youth ministry experience in a contemporary church environment.
11. Recruiter
[Recent college graduates will be considered if they have sufficient experience in a large church atmosphere.]
This church is a team-oriented leadership environment. Do you have a consistent, vital, and growing relationship with Christ? We would like to get to know you. This is a full-time position with a complete benefits package. If you match the above qualities...please send a current resume with a personal/family photo to the following:

Please understand we will only reply/contact those candidates who seem to be a fit for our ministry. PLEASE, NO PHONE CALLS.

Jesus Loves Porn Stars

XXX Church is at the Las Vegas Porn Expo this week with three different booths ministering to porn stars and those in the industry. They are updating their site everyday with what is going on.

Here is the link to their blog. It is great to read about people spending time with people God loves.

http://pure.typepad.com/x3pure/

Vince Young

Holy Crap. That was the best championship game I've ever seen. Vince Young absolutely amazes me. That dude can do it all. I'm not even sure if Michael Vick runs that well as a Quarterback. What a game! I love the fact that USC got beat. I've been waiting for them to go down for a while now. They should have lost to Notre Dame. Reggie Bush is obviously a great running back but he got shut down in this one. Wow.

Coach Carroll is a class act and you can tell by what he said about Texas after the game. On the other hand there is Leinart who is a conceited little prick. His quote, "well we couldn't tackle him (young) at the end but I don't care, I still think we're a better team." Who says that after they get beat by a great football team? What a poor loser! Someone needs to punch him in the face.

Goodbye 2005

Christmas in Illinois was great. We were sharing time between about 6 million families it seems so it was different than normal but it was a lot of fun. It was nice to get into some cold weather for a while. Was able to see my family, Kelli's family (billions of them), Jon, Brad, and Josh Carr. Also got some GREAT presents including the Seinfeld Seasons 5 and 6 gift set that included a framed puffy shirt! I was actually overwhelmed by the present we got overall. I really like this marriage thing! You get much more!

In random news, I won my fantasy football league. Woohoo!

Right now as you all know I'm still working through vocation and feel like I'm starting to figure some stuff out so I'm very encouraged. I am learning a lot about who I am and how I fit in God's Kingdom. I'm thrilled I can finally see some progress! I am taking the advice of several people and reading Parker Palmer's "Let Your Life Speak." I have also been reading Andy Stanley's "Visioneering" for the first time and it is helpful as well. He said that having a vision for your life brings direction, motivation, and passion and I have realized, "man, i don't have any of those things!" No wonder. I am not really working towards anything, I have no real vision as of yet but I'm waiting. I almost hate stories like Rob Bell's who talks about his vision of how God told him to "teach God's word and he will take care of everything else." Or any of the other guys who have gotten a clear vision from God because I don't think that's the norm and it depresses people like me who have not experienced anything.

I am also reading Organic Church by Neil Cole whom I took a workshop under in NYC and found fascinating. I love his idea of church and it really correlates with what Brian Simpkins talks about here in quite a few ways. Check it out: www.simplyb.blogspot.com

Other than that Kelli and I booked our flight to Seattle in March where we're going to spend 10 days exploring the Northwest cities including Portland and Vancouver. I'm pretty excited because this is kind of a scouting trip to see if we could see ourselves fitting in there and investing in one of those cities. No idea what we'll think, I've only been to Seattle once but I loved it when I was there. We want to be somewhere we feel like we fit in by next fall. Anyone out there live in Seattle, Portland or Vancouver who wants to tell me about it??? I'd love to hear about the culture there.

I really don't have a whole lot to say about 2005. It was an awesome year. I got married! I moved. There was a TON of life change but it's been a good adventure. It truly was one of the best years of my life and for that I am thankful. I know that I will remember 2005 as a year where a mid-20's crisis gave way to a new way of life. Normally at the end of the year I am very reflective, nostalgic and sometimes depressed. But this year was different. I was at Adam and Heather Randall's place with friends and it was really more of a celebration and I didn't think twice about last year other than thankfulness. I hope 2006 will be just as good!