Must read Bill Simmons running diary of the Grammy's. There is some really funny stuff in here. You should check it out. A few highlights:
9:58 -- Sports Gal's take on Rascal Flatts: "I don't get it. I don't get it at all. I hate everything about them. I hate their name. I hate their music. I hate the lead singer's voice. I hate his hair. I hate his leather jacket. I hate everything. What are they? I wouldn't even hire them for a wedding if I only had $15,000 to spend on everything." She's not a fan.
10:19 -- Hey, did you ever think you'd see the day when Christina Aguilera was much prettier, sexier AND cleaner-looking than Britney Spears? Me neither. Britney won the battle, Christina won the war. Who woulda thunk?
10:59 -- As Quentin Tarantino and Tony Bennett announce the nominees for "Record of the Year," we see a shot of a smiling Paris Hilton in the crowd. Good God, can that girl do anything to end her own career? Sex tapes, racial slurs, drugs, hateful personality, no discernable talent at all ... and she's still chugging along. Are we sure she's not Satan? Let's chop her head off and see if it grows back.
11:00 -- The Dixie Chicks win again for "Record of the Year." I feel like the Grammy voters are speaking out against the Iraqi conflict at this point. We'll know for sure if Cindy Sheehan wins for "Best Rock Album."
11:25 -- Our final awards tonight: Don Henley and Scarlett Johannson come out to present Scarlett's breasts, as well as the "Album of the Year" ... and the Dixie Chicks end up going 5-for-5. Now pray for me while I spend the rest of the night trying to get that "I'm not ready to make nice ... I'm not ready to back down" song out of my head. This is ouuuuuuuuuuur country.
6 comments:
i absolutely HATE rascal flatts.
everything about them is so bland, so fake, so average. i can not think of a more farcical commentary on the state of over-produced, over-marketed and completely untalented state of country music than rascal flatts.
the end.
wow! Really ruffled a feather there! That's funny, but i agree.
good call on the diary. my favorite line was: "looks like i picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
yes Gentry! That was another fave. You have to appreciate a man who can pull out an Airplane quote like that!
I am a long time Simmons guy... I thought his Super Bowl columns were his weakest in a while, but he delivers laugh out lound material week after week I have to forgive him...
These are a couple of my favorites...
"Anyway, Mary J. Blige wins for "The Breakthrough" and thanks Jesus Christ AND God. Let's hope they're watching together."
"10:02 -- Carrie Underwood wins for "Best New Artist." Meanwhile, Justin Guarini just served coffee to two policemen at a Yum Yum Donuts in Brentwood.
oh man, funny stuff. so glad you posted this.
Post a Comment