All throughout my life God has provided again and again sometimes in minor ways, sometimes in more miraculous ways. Kelli jokes about it because some of the things that have happened in my life can be explained in no other way but favor from God. The feeling I get when these things happen is always, "Why me?" It's humbling to say the least.
When we were desperate for money in Tampa, Fl and wondering how we were going to pay our bills I got an email asking me to write cover copies for Thomas Nelson publishers (which I have no experience in) which paid way more than I deserved.
When were were struggling to make ends meet when we first moved to Portland and were wondering how we would be able to make it, Jason Siemer offered me a job painting some apartments, then Brian Goff asked me to paint his house, which enabled us to make it.
Every time we have been in need and have asked God to provide, over and over again something has come up and He has proven faithful. And over and over again I wonder how we could be so blessed by Him.
Today was another story of God's incredible provision. Kelli and I were at my cardiologist (because while my heart health is fantastic in terms of blood pressure, pulse, and eating habits...well, I guess that's about it, i've been dealt a pretty bad hand in the cholesterol department.) In any case, after drastically changing my diet and losing 200 points on my Triglyceride count I was put on a medication to help lower it the rest of the way. Unfortunately, the news we received today is that this medication barely made a dent in my levels. It was fairly surprising and discouraging and she again reminded me that I have inherited some seriously tough Triglcerides.
What this means is more costly medication in addition to the already costly meds I'm on. Unfortunatley since I have student insurance I only have a prescription discount card (which takes off almost nothing) so the last medication was about as much as we could afford which I told my doctor (who is awesome). She went to make a few phone calls and see what she could do and when she came back she said something like, "You'll never believe what just happened."
When she went out to the front desk to do a little research, a drug representative who just happened to be from the company of the drug that I need but can't come close to affording just arrived. Keep in mind, in this medical center, drug reps aren't even allowed anymore! But this woman didn't know it because it had been a long time since she had checked in. In any case, she asked my doctor, "hey, could you use any samples of such and such (which is the medication I need). I have a whole case I could give you." And the doctor obviously said, "Yes I could use those." After telling us about this exchange she said if I come back tomorrow she would have a bag waiting for me at the desk with my name on it with the entire case of this medication which will last for quite some time! Unbelievable! She told me she would be glad to give it to me and would help in any way she could and then said, "This is why I'm always in trouble around here!"
What are the chances of a rep from the drug company, who is not even allowed on the premises anymore, showing up at the front desk with a case of the medication I need at the exact moment my doctor went up to do some research about how we could make it work and then have my doctor give it to me for free? Absolutely amazing! It's so encouraging when things like this happen.
12 comments:
I just got a little shiver reading that.
God is good.
Wow! That is amazing Dustin!
Thank God for drugs...literally.
That truly is a blessing, and amazing that things happened that way for you.
But, I have to ask what about when it doesn't work out like that, for you or others around you? When you can't pay your bills, and are have a hard time finding a second job? Or when you lose insurance, and the medication you are taking is too expensive for you, and the company stopped giving the Dr. samples? Then what?
In no way do I want to take away from the blessings you have received. It is the hand of God moving to show his glory that we may believe. But what about when He doesn't show up? What kind of post do you write then, or what would you say to a friend in that situation?
Hey Aaron,
Good questions. I think one thing to remember about this post specifically is that this is a blessing in the context of finding out that you're going to be on cholesterol medicine the rest of your life starting at age 28 because you've acquired your families terrible cholesterol genes. The same genes that took out two of my grandparents (one at 62, the other in their late 60's), and have led to about 4 other heart problems within my uncles. So in the broad picture, this is a pretty bad hand to get dealt.
And as far as a post you are describing looks like it would probably be something like this:
http://dustball.blogspot.com/2008/01/pain.html
or this:
http://dustball.blogspot.com/2007/11/lot-can-happen-in-year.html
I think this one shows the facts that these things don't just happen over night and that in light of God showing up, life is still anything but easy. In fact there are things we have been praying about for the last 3 years now that are still unanswered but we're not going to quit.
or this:
http://dustball.blogspot.com/2007/06/bill-reiter-1981-2007.html
Blessing certainly isn't the absence of pain, and or struggle.
so glad you got the medication you needed, dustin.
i have been struggling with prayer, how it affects me/God, what the point of it is, etc. lately (well, not lately--for 4 or 5 years, really).
my story is that when i have prayed for what i felt to be real needs in our lives, God ignored them. i didn't feel comfort, i didn't get a sign, i didn't get magical provision.
and then one day, i realized that so many people all over the world are suffering so much greater than i am, why would he pay my electric bill when babies in Africa don't have clean water?
it was a very tough realization to think that all my life, i have thought if i prayed, and it was a need, and i believed, God would provide. but He didn't promise me a house to live in, or electricity, or heat during the cold months, or even food on my table. He promised me Himself.
so i really struggle with all of this...
Hey Kristi,
Prayer and providence is truly a mystery. It's very difficult to understand why sometimes our prayers are answered how we expect, other times they are answered in more bizarre ways that reframe what our actual "need" is altogether, and then other times it's silence.
"and then one day, i realized that so many people all over the world are suffering so much greater than i am, why would he pay my electric bill when babies in Africa don't have clean water?"
I have felt that same way many times and continue to struggle with that. How could we possibly ask God for something that seems so trite when compared with the greater suffering of those around the world? But I guess using the model that Jesus gave as prayer I think that when Jesus said to ask God for your daily bread, he didn't qualify it in any way such as, "but only if you're the poorest of the poor." (not saying this describes you at all, I would have no idea) but, it seems like a basic disposition of being unable to accept gifts from God is spiritual pride, especially considering everything is a gift from him, regardless of what economic class it is. I've known people that were simply unable to accept anything as a gift and I think that it leads to the death of the spiritual life.
And then to go further, if God truly owns "the cattle on a thousand hills" or rather, everything, we're not living with a framework of scarcity, or with a God who can only do so much, we're living with a God who can supply the water that Africans need AND provide for an electric bill to be paid, or provide extra work for it to be paid or what not. Which of course all leads back to "why doesn't He do it at times?"
"it was a very tough realization to think that all my life, i have thought if i prayed, and it was a need, and i believed, God would provide. but He didn't promise me a house to live in, or electricity, or heat during the cold months, or even food on my table. He promised me Himself."
Well said! I agree completely. And that's why it's a such a blessing and a humbling experience when God does provide materially, emotionally, relationally (even if it seems rare), because he's not acting out of obligation, but simply because He desires to. It's all the more wonderful when these things happen knowing that God is not obligated to meet my needs whatsoever.
Dustin, thanks for the reply, and the perspective.
I wasn't trying to say that your blessing isn't truly a good thing. It truly is, and I praise God with you.
It is much needed to remember that Blessings do not mean the absence of pain, or that the presence of pain means the absence of blessings. Sometime's it's just hard to see, you know.
Anyways, truly Praise to God for what he has done in your life and how he has provided for you!
"It is much needed to remember that Blessings do not mean the absence of pain, or that the presence of pain means the absence of blessings. Sometime's it's just hard to see, you know."
Yeah, absolutely! I fully agree with that. There have been things in my life that have happened that were incredibly painful at the time, two I can think of very clearly right now that seemed awful at the time. But looking back, both of those things turned out to be HUGE blessings in the larger scope of things and are a big part of who I am today. It's definitely tough to tell sometimes in the present moment since we don't have a clear picture of what an event will bring in the long run.
hey dustin, thanks for such a thoughtful reply. i am mulling over this statement: "i have known people that were simply unable to accept anything as a gift and i think that it leads to death of the spiritual life."
i think where my quandry lies is when is something a gift? i know people (like you) could blast me for saying this. i'm not saying anyone else is wrong; i'm just struggling with this, like i said yesterday.
i think i have thought a lot about this in light of close friends who can't conceive. we have had many close friends over the past 5 or 10 years who have trouble in this department. so i have retrained myself not to say "we were blessed with children." that seems insensitive to me, to say that God gave me a blessing but wouldn't give it to so and so.
and i think for me, the response of "well, we don't know how all things work together for the good of those who love Him" or "we don't always know God's plan" or (some people have even said to me about other issues) "maybe there is some sin in your life that you should work on getting rid of so you can more appropriately follow God's will" are not acceptable to me anymore.
so then what? :)
I think it's a difference of having a perspective of entitlement vs. a perspective of (can't think of a word for this) kind of what you said in your last post about God not promising us anything but Himself. In light of that, then anything and everything becomes a "gift". And in saying that, this is not a perspective I am always attuned to!
I completely understand what you're saying though. I would never "blast you" for saying that. I think it's a difficult and very legitimate question.
I guess I'm thinking of one couple at Evergreen who tried to have kids for about 6 years and were unable to. This was extremely difficult for them as they prayed and they did everything they possible could to conceive. About a year and a half ago they adopted three little kids at once and to hear them tell the story all you hear about is what a "blessing" it has been. They tell the story of God's faithfulness all the time! It's a huge part of their story. I'm sure they would love to be able to conceive themselves but they wouldn't trade what has happened for the universe. They count all three of these children as gifts from God, but the greatness of the blessing certainly isn't separated from the difficulty of the struggle, but it was all the more pronounced in the light of it. Unfortunately I think some people give up during the dark times and fail to recognize any gift at all!
i like this post.
the end. :)
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