As some of you know, i've started playing church league softball this year in which there is some sort of altercation every week it seems. It's entertaining and sending us all straight to hell at the same time.
Last night we played the early game. We got slaughtered 11-0. I think we had about 2 hits the whole game. To show you how bad it was, i only got up one time in the 5 innings before they called the game due to the 10 run rule. When I got up I took the first pitch ball, the second strike, the third ball and for some strange reason I didn't swing at the fourth pitch because i thought it was low and got struck out looking. It really takes a lot to embarass me but striking out at slow pitch softball has to be the most embarassing thing that can happen to a man. You just have to put your head down and walk away as fast as you can.
Unfortunately that is not the worst thing that happened. I play right field of course because I suck. Whenever that one left hander gets up to bat I always get ready, take a step toward the foul line and hope against all hope that it gets hit to center. Well, this one came straight down the line and I started booking for it. It took a few bounces and was coming fast so I thought about diving for it to stop it from getting by me. Somehow I got caught between the thought of diving for it and not and ended up just falling down not even coming close to the ball. The worst thing is that you have to finish the play. You have to pick your humiliated butt up and get the ball. After the throw I just put my head down again and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Wow! I'm terrible. But not as bad as I imagine Jon Hentrich would be. Sorry Jon, but I can just picture it. It would be fun to play with you though!
The last thing I want to mention is that in some form because this is church league softball there is always a character issue brought to the forefront in a game. This time a man on the other team was running to second and was called safe by the ump who wasn't really paying attention even though the ball got there when the guy was about half way between first and second (no exaggeration). We all started going crazy. Then John said what I thought was hilarious. He yelled in to the guy standing on second, "you know you're out pal, a man of character would just walk off the field." Hahahahaha. I was dying. I'm not going off the field if they call me safe, screw character! Wow, that was funny John! I can't wait to see you so i can make a joke about that.
Well, there's always next week. We play the Hispanic team. Last year their pastor said to our team after a fight, "When we come out on the field, we leave Jesus in the dugout." Yes, he really said that. To which our team replied, "Yeah, well that's why your church sucks! Can't wait for 9pm on Friday!!!
3 comments:
Dustin,
Funny stuff. I also participated in church league softball over the past few weeks. Our league is over now, but we successfully finished defeated. Thats right, didn't win one game. In fact in the last game of the season we ended with a strikeout...it was awesome. (Josh Carr can tell you all about it).
"It is hard to hit that ball in only three tries. It should be a bigger ball. We should play kickball. We should play 10-strike kickball."
the last softball game that i played this year was the last game of the season and i struck out looking as well. Fortunately it wasn't the very last out the game...only the second to last. I think that ol' LCC should replace their baseball team with a slow-pitch softball team. Then make it a required class for all people going into ministry. Talk about some useful skills.
Thanks for that, Dustin. Calling me out on your blog. Actually, considering that's basically what I said (the exact words are open to debate), I think I deserve it and will take it like a man ... a man of character.
Post a Comment