Gram Keaton Bagby - 10/24/09

Gram was born on Saturday, Oct. 24th @ 6:04 am weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz. and measuring 21 inches long.

It was quite an intense 48 hours. Kelli's water broke at 1am the night before and spent the next 24 hours having contractions. Needless to say, she did not get any sleep for a LONG time. Once she was in active labor she was pretty exhausted but somehow managed to get to about 9 cm. with no pain medication! Her strength amazes me! Honestly, I can't imagine bearing that kind of pain but she was incredible. When 5am rolled around we noticed a trend on Gram's heart monitor. His heart rate was dropping substantially each time Kelli had a contract and then was racing to catch up. The doctor and nurses feared that the cord was wrapped around his neck. It's possible to push and give birth even so, but with the extent that his pulse was dropping it wouldn't have been safe for her to push. So at about 5, we had to make the decision to have a C-section. I sat beside Kelli as they performed the operation and then at 6:04 I watched as they pulled the little guy out. He did indeed have the cord wrapped around his neck twice!

I'm extremely thankful for the operation and the knowledge of the medical staff to see what was going on. We heard him cry and both started crying ourselves. It was indeed the most emotional experience I have ever had. With the mix of exhaustion, fear, anxiety, and everything else, it was more than I can really describe. But to see little Gram's huge alien head (which is more normal now :) and to hear him crying and okay was a beautiful experience.

We had a very specific idea of how we wanted things to go but it wasn't long until we realized that it wasn't going to happen that way (at all). First, our nurse midwife was not on call this weekend so we had Dr. Anderson deliver. Secondly, at about 9 cm, Kelli was just too exhausted after being up for almost 48 hours and just couldn't do any more contractions so she went ahead and gave me the code word (tippeetoe-from Seinfeld ((season 2-episode 7)), and got an epidural. Unfortunately, they had a difficult time getting it in between her vertebrae so it took about 7 sticks before they got it! Ouch. And then, the C-section of course was nothing we wanted a part of. We definitely learned the importance of flexibility in labor! Wasn't near what we thought it was going to be, but everything worked out for the best and Gram is healthy so it's hard to complain.

One thing I've noticed so far is that while I was afraid of the lack of sleep, the unceasing crying, and all of the other challenges, somehow there is more strength inside of you than you know. It's only been three days but I have really recognized how God equips people with what they need to be a parent and to find a way to press through.

This has been a very spiritual experience for me. In fact, in comparison with the rest of my previous life, I feel like this is the first time when I've truly prayed. I've resonated with Matt. 5:3 from the Message version: "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." No doubt about that! There have been times when I have been reciting scriptures in my head that I didn't even know I had memorized. This has all been a very powerful and life changing experience for me and it's only been three days! I can't imagine all that I will learn through being a father in the coming years but I am excited. Tired, but excited.

On another note, the nurses at Providence were incredible. I seriously don't know what we would have done without their constant help and work for those two days. I have said this before and I believe it is true more than ever: those that are involved as nurses, doctors, medical assistants, are in my mind one of the closest professions to the heart of God. When you think about the care, compassion, healing, and humble service to those who are sick, hurting, in pain, whatever it may be, I have incredible respect for that.

Another great moment was when the hospital chaplain came to bless Gram. He was a "non-denominational chaplain" so I was surprised when he put on his yamaka :). He read a poem, read a short prayer for Gram and then recited a short passage from Deuteronomy. I really appreciated it.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts as the days go along. But I now understand why people blog and post pictures of their kids on facebook every 5 minutes :)

Leia Mais…

Rob Bell @ Catalyst

I went to Catalyst a long time ago. I didn't really care for it. I loved hanging with my team, but the conference itself reminded me of the worst type of Church growth crap (with exceptions of course). Plus my grandmother died right when I got there so it may have colored the rest of my time there :(

In any case, just read this on Out of Ur about what Rob Bell said today and just want to say a hearty amen!

"Rob professed his amazement at Christian organizations that rank the most significant churches and organizations based on size. And they all profess to follow a Savior to said, “The last shall be first?” As Rob said, “Put away the crack pipe!”"

I cannot tell you how tired I am of these ridiculous lists from Outreach magazine or Church Marketing Sucks about the "fasted growing", "largest", or "most innovative (whatever that means)" churches, usually topping the list are the very pastors who did the voting (what a coincidence). I have no idea why pastors, who claim to follow Jesus, clamor for attention, recognition, and fame which is the exact opposite of what Jesus said to do! I'm glad that Rob Bell would say something like this at a conference that tends to breed that very disposition toward ministry.

Leia Mais…

Missional/Incarnational

Missional and incarnational are two concepts that are (or should be) inseparable.

You can be missional without being incarnational (in our context) by hanging thousands of gospel door hangers in a neighborhood thinking it's an information problem that does not need a relational solution. The heart of mission, the recognition of "sentness" is there, but the incarnational piece is missing. It's actually possible to do quite a bit of damage by being missional but not incarnational (as is discussed in The Tangible Kingdom).

OR

You can be incarnational without being missional by hanging out every night at the same Portland pub or coffee shop, but never getting to know anyone, never asking God, "how are you at work here?", never having an awareness of what is going on around you. You feel good about yourself because you're around a bunch of non-Christian Portlanders, but if there is never any intention, any idea of what God is doing, any direction, then it will just remain hanging around a bunch of non-Christian Portlanders. Incarnational without missional is just hanging out!

How have you seen or experienced these two ideas brought together in a meaningful way?

Leia Mais…

Freedom for Ministry 3

“The Bride of Christ mentioned in Revelation 21 will be something quite new to our eyes, but she will be no stranger, for we will recognize her as the whore of Christendom transformed. It is only by trusting that promise that we dare now to call the whore of Christendom the Bride of Christ. We do so in hope, and that hope is the foundation of our ministry.

To love the Church, then, is to help it become what it is. When Paul speaks of a Church without spot or wrinkle, therefore, he is not speaking of a different Church than the one with which we are so restlessly dissatisfied. No, he is speaking of this Church becoming what in reality it is.” Pg. 13

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Freedom for Ministry 2

“Thinking about the Church today is plagued by a mood of anti-institutionalism that pervades our culture. We too facilely posit form against reality, the institutional against the authentic. Institution is simply another word for social endurance. Even the most spontaneous and prophetic of movements cannot last unless they find institutional form. I admit that I have never understood what people mean when they talk about “the institutional church.” There is no other church of historical or social significance. It might be suggested that there is another church of theological significance. But the church we speak of theologically is not another church; it is this Church-in all its sweaty, smelly, concreteness-although viewed in a difference and more comprehensive perspective.”

Leia Mais…

Freedom for Ministry 1

In his book Freedom for Ministry, Richard John Neuhaus wrote this back in 1979:

“I do not think we should regret it if this Church is institutionally strong. For the millions of people who support and participate in the churches, it is likely a good thing. To be sure, we all deplore the superficiality, the cheap grace, the caricature of Christian discipleship that mark some of the most successful peddling of the gospel in our time. The hustling that dominates “the electronic church” of religious broadcasting, the mile-long cathedrals of glass made possible by the avoidance of controversy, the multimillion dollar commerce in books that reinforce every prejudice and stereotype-all this is repugnant on many scores.

And yet, and yet: through all this, millions of people are receiving a more adequate and truthful view of the world than they might otherwise have. They are introduced at least to the rudiments of the Christian world view: to the Creator God, to the reality of sin, to the redeeming power of God’s initiative in Jesus Christ, to the presence of the Spirit, to the ethic of love, to the hope of glory. No matter how bastardized we may think the form of the gospel is, they are at least brought within the circle of Christian discourse where the understanding of the gospel can be deepened and fulfilled in Christian discipleship.” Pg. 6

Leia Mais…

Email Forwards...

When will email forwards stop? This one actually made me laugh though. Wow. Enjoy!

____________________________________________________

A father wanted to read a magazine but was being 'bothered' by his
little girl. She wanted to know what the United States looked like.
Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine with the map of the
country on it. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to his
daughter and said, 'Go into the other room and see if you can put
this together. This will show you our whole country today'
..............

After a few minutes, the daughter returned and handed him the map - - correctly fitted and taped together. The father was surprised and asked how she had finished so quickly. 'Oh,' she said, ' on the other side of the paper is a
picture of Jesus. When

I got all of Jesus back where He belonged, then our country just came together.'

Leia Mais…

The God I Don't Understand

Christopher Wright has written a few books of note; most recently The Mission of God, and Old Testament Ethics for the People of God.

His newest work, The God I Don't Understand is an honest, personal wrestling with some of the tougher issues of the faith. He works through the issues of evil, the destruction of the Canaanites (which I've never seen written about at any length), the how, why, and what's of the cross, and the "cranks" that ruin the beauty of the new creation by speculating absurd theories and reading the book of Revelation how it was never meant to be read (i.e. dispensational premillenialism).

Wright was at the National Pastors Convention this past February and unfortunately they had him scheduled the last night of the conference. After Rob Bell, after Bill Hybels, after Will Willimon. Not a great spot to be when everyone is already tired from the rest of the week.

About 15 minutes into Wrights lecture (it wasn't really a sermon) an exodus of pastors began as they just didn't have the mental energy to put into it that was necessary. I felt horrible for Christopher Wright because it was good stuff, just difficult after a week of being mentally stimulated. His sparsely attended bible study early the next morning was one of the most beneficial times of the week as he talked about Job and the problem of evil for 45 minutes in a way that had never crossed my mind. In any case, I would recommend this one if you've got some time this fall. Here's a taste...

“God with his infinite perspective, and for reasons known only to himself, knows that we finite human beings cannot, indeed must not, “make sense” of evil. For the final truth is that evil does not make sense. “Sense” is part of our rationality that in itself is part of God’s good creation and God’s image in us. So evil can have no sense, since sense itself is a good thing.

Evil has no proper place within creation. It has no validity, no truth, no integrity. It does not intrinsically belong to creation as God originally made it nor will it belong to creation as God will ultimately redeem it. It cannot and must not be integrated into the universe as a rational, legitimated, justified part of reality. Evil is not there to be understood, but to be resisted and ultimately expelled. Evil was and remains an intruder, an alien presence that has made itself almost (but not finally) inextricable “at home”. Evil is beyond our understanding because it is not part of the ultimate reality that God in his perfect wisdom and utter truthfulness intends us to understand. So God has withheld its secrets from his own revelation and our research.”

Personally, I have come to accept this as a providentially good thing. Indeed, as I have wrestled with this thought about evil, it brings a certain degree of relief. And I think it carries the implication that whenever we are confronted with something utterly and dreadfully evil, appallingly wicked, or just plain tragic, we should resist the temptation that is wrapped up in the cry, “Where’s the sense in that?” It’s not that we get no answer. We get silence. And that silence is the answer to our question. There is no sense. And that is a good thing too.

Can I understand that?

No.

Do I want to understand that?

Probably not, if God has decided it is better that I don’t.

So I am willing to live with the understanding that the God I don’t understand has chosen not to explain the origin of evil, but rather wants to concentrate my attention on what he has done to defeat and destroy it.

Now this may seem a lame response to evil. Are we merely to gag our desperate questions, accept that it’s a mystery, and shut up? Surely we do far more than that?

Yes indeed.

We grieve.

We weep.

We lament.

We protest.

We scream in pain and anger.

We cry out, “How long must this kind of thing go on?”

And that brings us to our second major biblical response. For when we do such things, the Bible says to us, “That’s OK. Go right ahead. And here are some words that you may like to use when you feel that way.”

Leia Mais…

Trite Old Testament Moralisms

I stumbled upon a particular church website today and noticed their series description for Jonah. This is just a sampling of the kind of trite moralistic readings that many churches are well known for when it comes to the Old Testament!

"Jonah was a simple man with a simple message, but the world didn’t listen to him. So Jonah became angry, discouraged and lost his patience…something we can all understand."

Uh, really, Jonah was mad because the people of Nineveh didn't listen to him???

⁴ On the first day, Jonah started into the city. He proclaimed: "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned." ⁵ The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. ⁶ When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. ⁷ Then he issued a proclamation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink. ⁸ But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. ⁹ Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish."¹⁰ When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.

Sounds like they listened to Jonah to me! The reason Jonah was mad was because the nation that he despised as a horrible, wicked people DID listen to his message, repented, and were spared destruction from the LORD.

But it doesn't end there....

"Yet the story of Jonah shows us that sometimes it takes a miraculous act, like being swallowed into the belly of a fish, for God to get our attention. We all have a mission to live out no matter what the world throws our way. Are you ready to pursue something greater than yourself?"

Really? This is what Jonah teaches us? A moral tale that sometimes God has to do something big to get our attention? I cannot think of a more self-centered reading of this text.

Could it be about:
-the necessity of God's judgment of evil?
-God working through His (reluctant) people to communicate mercy to others?
-God graciously granting mercy to people when they repent?
-The fact that God's "chosen people" may in fact be those who are unrepentant.
-Not getting angry at God when he shows mercy on those we see as incredibly wicked and deserving of judgment?
-God's great compassion upon everyone that turns to Him?
-A story teaching that Israel is forfeiting the grace that could be their by begrudging God's grace to the Gentiles and ways in which we may be doing the same thing?

No, of course not, it's a story about we've all got a mission to live out no matter what God throws our way!

What's worse than a church preaching a crummy reading of a powerful story is the fact that they are teaching their people every week how to read the Bible poorly! It's really discouraging to see stuff like that.

Leia Mais…

Mount St. Helens

Yesterday Travis Moore, Mike Anders and I climbed Mount St. Helens which is something I've been wanting to do for a while. The opportunity came up rather suddenly so there was no time to get some training hikes in (unfortunately). Therefore it was a little tougher than it should have been (I'm understating this). It was a great experience however and once we got over the rim of Helens it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

We left at 5:30am, drove to Helens, started our hike at about 7:45am. We arrived at the summit at around 1:15pm and then made it back to our car by 5pm. It was a long, tiring day but it was worth it. Here are a few pics, i posted a bunch more on facebook.

Leia Mais…