"Our false selves are the identities we cultivate in order to function in society with pride and self-possession; our real selves are a deep religious mystery, known entirely only to God. The world cultivates the false self, ignores the real one, and therein lies the great irony of human existence: The more we make of ourselves, the less we actually exist.

But my life and aims tend to be artificial, inauthentic, as long as I am simply trying to adjust my actions to certain exterior norms of conduct that will enable me to play an approved part in the society in which I live."

--Thomas Merton

This is the struggle of my life. TM always knows how to cut right to the heart of it.

"Our false selves are the identities we cultivate in order to function in society with pride and self-possession; our real selves are a deep religious mystery, known entirely only to God. The world cultivates the false self, ignores the real one, and therein lies the great irony of human existence: The more we make of ourselves, the less we actually exist.

But my life and aims tend to be artificial, inauthentic, as long as I am simply trying to adjust my actions to certain exterior norms of conduct that will enable me to play an approved part in the society in which I live."

--Thomas Merton

This is the struggle of my life. TM always knows how to cut right to the heart of it.

Girl in the War EP

Josh Ritter (have you heard me talk about him lately?) has an EP he released on www.emusic.com called Girl in the War Digital Tracks. I highly recommend it for fans of The Animal Years or just of Ritter in general. Here is the tracklist.

1. Girl In The War
2. Blame It On The Tetons
3. Harbortown
4. Peter Killed The Dragon
5. Monster Ballads (early version)
6. In The Dark (acoustic demo)
7. Girl In The War (acoustic demo)

I would say there are a few highlights, one is the Modest Mouse cover "Blame it on the Tetons". The second is the early version of "Monster Ballads". Finally the acoustic version of Girl in the War is wonderful.

I'm serious when I say this. This guy can do NO wrong. Amazing songwriter.

In simliar news i'm pretty peeved because Mandy got to see him live last night and I haven't even seen him yet.

T.O.????

I'm having a hard time believing that T.O. actually tried to kill himself as the story goes.

Seems there are conflicting reports:

1. Media - T.O. ATTEMPTS SUICIDE. Obviously the media's job is to jump the gun and think the worst at ALL times to manipulate something into a hot story.

2. T.O's publicist - T.O.'s pain killers mixed wrongly with his supplements so she took him to the hospital, he did not try to commit suicide. But of course the publicist's job is to cover up anything that looks negative and pretend everything is okay.

3. Police - T.O. called 911 and when asked if he was trying to hurt himself and he said, "Yes." which is recorded. Hard to refute that, but not a whole lot of information to go off of. The Police's job is to tell you as little as possible anytime, and that's probably for good reason.

Who do you believe when everyone's job is to lie???

4. Dustin's theory - T.O. took 5-7 pain killers, not trying to kill himself, but desperately seeking attention (which has been known of T.O. in the past). I'm not in the medical field but I know that it would take a few more than that to kill yourself. He's depressed, he's upset, he swallows the pills to get attention from those around him and see if people really care about him which is what you want when you are depressed. In the next few days he will make a press statement (forced by the team and his publicist) that he took some pain pills that didn't go well with his supplements. Therefore he called 911 and was too loopy to answer the questions correctly, he had thought they said, "are you hurting?" not "are you trying to hurt yourself?" He'll make some jokes in the press statement to let everyone know that he is completely happy with the world, he'll make a few statements about how he just wants to move forward and play football (until the next time he seeks attention), and then he'll hope the whole thing blows over and never answer questions about it again.

Any other theories???

Updated 12:40pm PST - Come on, somebody tell me I was right. I just watched the press conference and I called it EXACTLY! By the way, his publicist is the worst liar on earth. The media are much better liars! Good work media.

Three Things

One, for those who have me on Bloglines, please re-ad me to your list if you want to get the feed. For some reason the bloglines is not picking up my feed and I had to reset it.

Two, check out Bob's post on the Creative Commons Church (for those who are interested in the plagiarism and preaching discussion we have been having. He shares thoughts along a similar mindset but communicates them much better than I did and gives positive ideas to reinforce it!

Three, Joseph Arthur's new record Nuclear Daydream, and Ben Kweller's new self-titled album came out last week. Any thoughts so far? Anything else good coming out soon?

Preaching and Plagiarism

I have always hated when pastors copy a sermon word for word and preach it as their own on Sunday without ever giving credit to where or who it comes from. It's been a pet peave of mine since the Bible College days. Now, of course I take some ideas from here and there from sermons I have heard but I ALWAYS give credit to where credit is due, i never pretend to be smart enough to have come up with what I copy. But what about pastors who take a Rick Warren, or Ed Young sermon and preach it as if it were their own. Is that wrong? Is that unethical?

Christianity Today's blog got me thinking about this more in depth, many of you have already read it, but if not check it out here:

Out of Ur's article "Word for Word; what is driving pastors to plagiarize?"

What I think is even worse is that the celebrity preachers are encouraging people to not just take their sermons and preach them word for word but to actually buy them from the pastors for a price of about 6-10 dollars! I would say that there are about 674 things inherently wrong about that, but I don't think I need to list them off for this crew. This easter Keith and I got an email from Ed Young Jr. ministry allowing us to buy his Easter sermon for 8.95 with his own handwritten corrections. How considerate and generous of him to make a profit off of something he is already paid to do at his church! I could spend a lot of time and get very upset over this issue.

What I wanted to point out today however is that while reading a book for class called "Ministerial Ethics" I noticed that denominations across the board starting when ethical codes were first being written in the early 20th century cited plagiarism in preaching as unethical and against the standards of what it meant to be a pastor.

"It is unethical for the minister to use sermon material prepared by another without acknowledging the source from which it comes."

This was the standard on Presbyterian's, Disciples of Christ, Baptists, Unitarians, etc. across the board.

But in the more recent codes this line has been dropped altogether. There is no mention of plagiarism in the major denominational ethical codes! Why do you think this is? Has it recently become ethical to steal or even buy a sermon and preach it word for word as your own? Has this new act hurt or helped the church? Why would it be unethical 50 years ago but okay today?

Here we go again...

I know I've talked about Josh Ritter's most recent album The Animal Years a ton lately but that is only because it is one of the best albums I have heard this year. My friend Rick describes this song very well :

"The "Thin Blue Flame" continues one of the best traditions in folk rock. From Dylan's early albums ( and he does it again on the latest- his best is Hurricane), Springsteen every once in a while, The 77's (I Could Laugh), Peter Himmelman (Untitled), even Bright Eyes (Let's Not Shit Ourselves) this tradition continues and I am a sucker for those 8 minutes each time."

This is an amazing song. Sit back, put this on and listen to every single word. It's a very powerful song.

THIN BLUE FLAME

The Dark Side

I just finished “Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership” which honestly wasn’t incredibly enlightening nor as in depth as I would have liked but it has sparked a lot of thoughts into my personal life where there could be some problems in the future. It was interesting to realize that we all have a dark side that has been developing our entire lives that can help us succeed but can also bring us down. As you already know, this dark side has been the cause of many ministry leaders’ downfalls in the past. Of which we as Christians are reminded of frequently by the news and by people we meet who like to remind us once they find out that we are Christ-followers.

There were a few quotes from the book that I wanted to share with you however because they sparked some good thoughts.

“Far too many sermons are preached in an effort to gain the approval and admiration of followers, with little or no concern for God’s approval. The pastor or speaker who steps down from the platform and is immediately obsessed with whether his sermon was good is dealing with a prime symptom of narcissism. Jim Bakker seems to have been a classic victim of narcissistic personality disorder. His visions of grandeur were born out of deep feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. He was driven to achieve in an effort to prove to himself and other that he was worthy and approved.”

That strucks a chord with me. It is a tough differentiation to make because obviously we want to critique ourselves and get feedback on our communication skills but at the same time don't want to obsess over ourselves and watch the video after all five services to see what mannerisms could be better (no offense Ed Young Jr.). How do we balance being messengers of God's word and being refined communicators and teachers of God's truth?

“There are too many young men and women entering the ranks of spiritual leadership today carrying the heavy load of unrealistic expectations.”

AMEN to that! Unfortunately, Bible Colleges and Seminaries are instilling these expectations and idealisms that are the downfall of many, and once they get out into the world to “do” ministry it is a rough realization that it is nothing like what they said it was going to be! I wonder if there is a better way to prepare people than to excite them about how they are going to change the world with what they learned in the classroom??? Is there a way to maintain the excitement of serving but at the same time be realistic about the challenges and the dark nights of ministry?

Do you think the "superstar pastor" conferences feed into these unrealistic expectations?

Seminarians

Today was my first frustrating day at Seminary. But it wasn't necessarily because of the classes or professors (one of which made me look really stupid today which I'll get to later). The problem is, there are certain seminarians that get the feeling that they need to voice their opinion and share their experience about any and everything the professor addresses. Usually these individuals are older and my hypothesis is that because everyone is younger than they are in the classroom they feel foolish that they are at the same level as everyone else and want to make it known to the world that they already know all the material being covered.

These are the men that nod attentively at everything the professor says or tries to trump the professor based on their own experience. Or even worse, they ask a question or share an experience that ONLY relates to them particularly and is not relevant nor beneficial to anyone else in the classroom giving me a vision of this man holding my hard earned (or borrowed) money in his hand setting it on fire with a lighter because he is wasting my precious time. This rant may seem selfish and juvenile but I think there may be some other former or current seminarians that can relate? I'm especially excited to hear Gentry's zealous, humorous (and probably vulgar) response. No pressure.

On a side note, I realized today that there is something about being around a group of studious, academic Christians that just makes me want to rebel. I can't explain it, nor condone it, but it's just a feeling I have inside that I need to get to the bottom of.

Later I will go into detail about what is feels like to look like a complete moron with a distinguished professor.

Are you having trouble posting comments?

Some friends have recently emailed me and told me that they can't comment on my blog anymore since I switched over to the beta version of blogger. If you have had trouble commenting on my blog will you please just send me a quick email and let me know what happened? I would like to fix it because I know how frustrating it is to type a long comment only to lose it to blogger. dbagby@gmail.com

thanks.

I have a prediction...

The Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl.

a winner has been declared....

As you know I had a name contest a little while ago for the best name for the new banner with the winner getting a bag of authentic Portland coffee. Finally, after the chaos here has settled I have taken a few minutes and come to a decision. It was hard because there were a lot of good ones. But after much thought and deliberation, I would have to say my favorite name for this picture symbolically and ironically is:

Up the Slippery Slope

Congratulations Doug B! You win some Portland coffee. Email me and I'll give you two options.

A close second was:
Stairway to Average. I really liked that one too Cade.

Jobs and Songs

God is good. I've got a job painting a house right now. I've got an interview at Borders downtown today and if that doesn't work out, i've got a job waiting for me at Hollywood video. I went to a UPS interview last night at 11pm but it didn't turn out to be like anything they said on the website. On the web it said, "starting at 9.50, full health insurance". Well, the starting rate is actually 8.50 and you only get health insurance if you work 80 hours a month, but they only promise you between 15-22 hours a week so it's completely out of your control. If they only let you work 79 some month, you don't have health insurance the next month. He also said that it takes 5-8 years to get promoted from package handler to driver there. At that point, I bid everyone adieu and walked to my car to drive home and forget any of that every happened.

Anyway, here is some stuff you should check out. You probably would have checked these out already if you would just freaking get Emusic.

The Album Leaf - Into the Blue Again
This record just came out today on Sub Pop. Kelli and I used a few AL songs in our wedding last year from their last record. I saw the Album Leaf (which is mostly just one guy) perform in Brooklyn last year and it was an amazing show. I think Kelli and I will see them in Portland later this year. It's worth seeing. Mostly instrumental and electric but every now and again you'll actually get some vocals like on this song:

Always For You

M. Ward - Post War
Not much to say about M.Ward but his music just has a classic sound that you can't help but appreciate and love. I thought Transistor Radio was brilliant and I can't help but think that this is just as good, if not better.
Post War
To Go Home



Hem - Funnel Cloud
This one is for lovers of Over The Rhine. They put out a pretty cool record on my birthday of this year (Feb. 7th) called No Word From Tom which is a collection of covers including a great version of

"Rainy Night in Georgia"




Gin Blossoms - Major Lodge Victory
I realize that this may surprise some people who only know the "Empire Records" Gin Blossoms but this is a extremely sunny, catchy record that will make you happy!

Learning the Hard Way (sample)
Curious Thing (sample)



Jason Molina - Let Me Go, Let Me Go, Let Me Go
Molina has been around for a while, fronting Magnolia Electric Co. which is a alt/country/roots rock band. Let me just say that this record is ions away from Magnolia rock. This is Jason with his guitar singing stripped down/bare sad songs. It sounds like he is in a prison cell moaning of his condition. With that said, I think it's beautiful.

Everything Should Try Again

Why Haven't You Bought This Album Yet?

Take a listen:

Girl in the War

Monster Ballads

Good Man

This is one of the best records I've heard this year. Well worth a listen. Josh Ritter's a phenomenal song writer.

The Great Giveaway 2

He then goes on to make the suggestion that we use qualitative measure of community instead of evaluating a church by the quality of preaching, the worship services, the convenience of children’s care services, etc.:

“When was the last time someone spoke a hard truth into your life? Was it done with love?
When was the last time you confessed sin to someone you felt safe with in this community?
When was the last time you prayed with someone over an issue of needs or discernment in this body?
When was the last someone in the body visited you in the hospital or brought you a meal when you were sick?
When was the last time a homeless person was brought into the congregation and made whole?

And ultimately he suggests that we measure the number of new church plants, not the size of church buildings. Listen to this:

“Why is it that pastors of large churches are more willing to build bigger buildings than empower a group of forty to fifty people to plant another living body of Christ? If indeed the facts are true that the greatest conversion growth occurs in churches when they grow from fifty to two hundred people, why is it that we insist on building bigger churches after they have reached one thousand? What does it say about our assumptions for church growth when we plant churches that already start with two hundred people? If this is what it means to be the physical body of Christ in North America then the ultimate sign of church success will be “the number of churches you have planted,” not how big your church is in terms of attendance, decisions, or church facilities.”

The Great Giveaway

I just started reading: The Great Giveaway by David Fitch. The subtitle is “Reclaiming the Mission of the Church from Big Business, Parachurch Organizations, Psychoterapy, Consumer Capitalism, and Other Modern Maladies.”

I read the first chapter this morning on what standard we are to use and not to use to measure the “success” of our church. One of the things he said that stood out is this:

“Numbers miss measuring how well a church is functioning as the body of Christ. Numbers often miss measuring the progress of discipleship in a church. Numbers do not reveal how a church group is functioning internally, whether people are building up each other, ministering to each other, and ministering in the outside community as the body of Christ. In short, numbers, on their own, say nothing qualitative about what is going on in the church when viewed as the body of Christ. Indeed, when numbers reach a certain level, a further increase in numbers may deter achieving the goals of being the body of Christ. Consequently, a church that appears to be a success numerically may be a failure in terms of its mission to be a faithful local body of Christ.”

He goes on to make this insight:

“This does not require that bigness in itself is antithetical to being the body of Christ. But what it may uncover is that bigness is a hurdle to overcome and not a goal to be sought in being the successful body of Christ.”

Some church leaders will say, “well numbers are important because they represent people.” That is true to some extent, but they don’t necessarily represent people who have any interest in being the body of Christ on earth or who’s lives are being changed by the power of God.

So how do we measure the wellness of our church? I’ll let you know what David’s suggestions are tomorrow. You should check out this book.

Heart of Gold

We watched Neil Young’s documentary “Heart of Gold” Monday night. Basically it’s his unveiling of his (then) new album Prairie Wind at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. Neil Young is one of my musical heroes. He is such a humble, un-pretentious star. I overflow with respect for the man. I wish young musicians would follow in his legacy. He's a total class act.

Anyway, Young has such a rich history of music and it is definitely worth watching if you’re a fan. One of my favorites is on the special features disc where Neil performed “Needle and the Damage Done” on the Johnny Cash Show in 1971. Looks really freaking young, sounds exactly the same which is a mind blower. How did his voice never change in the last 30 years???? Must be performance enhancing drugs. They should test him. Another highlight is his performance of “When God Made Me.” If you haven’t given it a good listen, check it out. Simple but profound. I was moved.

R.I.P

The croc-hunter Steve Irwin died today. Most people probably would have guessed that he would have died at the hand of nature somehow but I wouldn't have guessed he would have gotten killed by a Stingray. Pretty sad story. He was a bit over-the-top at times, but he was passionate about what he did and loved every minute of it. I pray that I can maintain the passion that Steve had in my own field. Definitely will miss seeing this guy on tv, it was always fun and enlightening.