Such great wisdom for living...

· Don’t just pretend to love other. Really love them.

· Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.

· Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

· Never be lazy but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.

· Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

· When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.

· Always be eager to practice hospitality.

· Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.

· Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

· Live in harmony with each other.

· Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people.

· And don’t think you know it all!

· Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

· Do all you can to live in peace with everyone.

· Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.

· Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

...from Romans 12

Why I NEED Lent.

The season of Lent is something that I do not remember participating in my Restoration Movement church background. In fact, I feel like the civil calendar directed our affairs more than the church calendar did, which is unfortunate. Instead of asking questions like, "what should we do during Lent or Advent this year?" it was more "what should we do during Mother's Day or the Fourth of July this year?" I hate that I missed out the guidance that the seasons of the Christian year offer us through the cycle of life, death, and resurrection that we experience with Advent, Lent, Easter, etc.

In fact, I remember perceiving the sentiment that Lent was primarily a Catholic practice by which people seek to earn the favor and forgiveness of God by voluntarily refraining from something (usually meat or chocolate) and that it was something that we Protestants should not be a part of. This is probably a good illustration of what it means to "throw the baby out with the bathwater."

Through the last 3 1/2 years with the Evergreen Community it has been helpful for my personal transformation to be introduced to this cycle and participate in it. As Lent approaches, I am ever more excited to spend an intentional time refocusing my heart and mind on Jesus. I'm excited to lay down those things that I have tended to rely on during the past year to soothe, comfort, and get me through life. If you're like me, you've found yourself relying on things other than God for your support and comfort.

This year I will be spending the 40 days of Lent fasting from beer. To many Midwestern friends, this probably sounds ludicrous. In fact, many would even question my faith for drinking beer (which comes from a cultural christianity that I have a hard time even understanding anymore). But living in the Pacific NW where there are more micro-breweries per-capita than anywhere else in the world it makes loads of sense. We hang out in pubs regularly, we brew our own beers, we follow beer blogs and tweets, we have theological conversations over pints. It's simply part of the way of life here.

But what I've noticed over the past year is that slowly, beer has gone from being a special drink reserved for special occasions and visits with friends, to simply something I drink whenever I feel like it, or whenever a new brew is released, or after I've had a particularly rough day, or when Seinfeld is on :) It's not that I drink a lot of beer at any one given sitting, or even tend to overindulge. It's simply that it's become standard fare with any given meal or tv show to have a pint. And in some way I have to ask the question, "is this something I've come to depend on?"

We discussed the purpose of fasting, whether during Lent or any other time a few weeks ago at Evergreen and basically it came down to a few things:

1. it helps us to say no to the small things, so that we will be able to say no to larger temptations when they arise.
   
2. it helps us to practice impulse control and rein in our desires.
   
3. it helps us to lay down our functional saviors and grasp on to the true one.

Even today there are people that hear that we encourage people to participate in Lent and it ruffles their feathers. They equate Lent with some kind of "works-salvation", or legalism. And truthfully it can become either of those things. It can even become a contest in spirituality in which we try to one-up each other: "I've lived off of nothing but peanut shells and watermelon juice for the last 40 days, what did you do?" But so can any other spiritual practice that we choose to participate in. Does this mean we do nothing to intentionally seek God? Should we give up praying, reading scripture, or times of silence just in case it becomes legalistic or a kind of "works-salvation"? Or course not!

And this is why I choose to participate in the 40 days of Lent. Not to mention that spending 40 days putting something to death that has become too powerful in our lives makes the season of Easter resurrection so much more powerful. I've found Lent to be difficult, challenging, and very important in my spiritual formation. I just wish I would have known about it sooner!

Life

Life has been extremely good the last 6 months. God has blessed us in absolutely incredible mind-boggling ways. If someone would have told me that we would have an adorable son, own a house, and be doing what we love three years ago I would have thought they were INSANE. But as we've sought to be faithful to Jesus, God has been good to us. And when I say that, I don't mean that we haven't experienced our share of pain and difficulties. What I mean is that even in the face of pain and sorrow, God has been there for us. Even in times when things have been incredibly tight financially, God has provided through a variety of odd jobs and means. Even when Kelli's delivery went the exact opposite of how we desired it to go, we came home with a wonderful son.

February is going to be a difficult month. Kelli went back to work today. And of course Gram kept us both up all night long (more her than me). But other than waking at 4:30am to a wide-awake child, it was more difficult to see her get misty-eyed as she packed Gram's bag with his favorite toys and got ready to leave him for the day for the first time. It can't be an easy thing to do. And honestly, I keep coming back to the thought: "how do single mom's do it?" I'm amazed at their strength. We're very grateful that this will only be for a few weeks and then Kelli's mom will be in town to help out for three weeks.

After that we're hoping for some other arrangements that can keep Kelli at home with Gram more. With those arrangements we will once again be very strapped financially. It was a good few months while it lasted! Having two salaries is amazing! Wish it could have lasted a little longer than three months, but having Kelli at home with Gram is even more amazing. I would be willing to sacrifice anything for that to happen.

February will be a challenging month as we pass Gram around a little bit amongst our community, but it will make us more appreciative once March rolls around and Kelli will get to be with him during the day again. There are some real bright spots in February. My birthday for one. Turning the big 30 on Super Bowl Sunday! Plus I get to go to a church conference in Washington, D.C. to hear Dallas Willard all week. That will be awesome, but I can't imagine how hard it will be to leave Gram for an entire week! Ahh. Life is definitely not easy as new parents, but it is very, very good.

Does God's "Blessing" = Material things?

I've been reading Christopher Wright's short biblical theology on salvation titled "Salvation Belongs to Our God". In chapter 3 he elaborates on the "blessings of salvation". "What does it mean to be blessed by God?" There are all kinds of answers out there. Some see God's blessing exclusively in a material sense (prosperity theology). Some see God's blessing exclusively in the spiritual sense (those angry with prosperity theology).

But as Wright explores "blessing", what he notices in the OT (particularly Gen. 1) is that it is constituted by "fruitfulness, abundance, and fullness on the one hand and by enjoying rest within creation in holy and harmonious relationship with our Creator God on the other." In fact when God blesses someone in the 88 times this word is used, it normally includes increase of family or flocks or wealth or all three.

Wright goes on to state: "God's blessing is manifested most obviously in human prosperity and well-being; long life, wealth, peace, good harvests and children are the items that figure most frequently in lists of blessing (such as in Gen. 24; Lev. 26; Deut. 28)."

For a split-second, as I read this I am uncomfortable. But he continues by critiquing the perversion of this: prosperity theology.

"It is one thing to affirm gladly that God can and does bless people in a material way, with fulfillment of life, fruitfulness in their families and enjoyment of the good things of creation. But it is another thing altogether to insist that we have an entitlement to all such things or that if we do not receive them in abundance, then either God has not blessed us or we are lacking faith."

Phew!

"Such teaching is a distortion of God's blessing in relation to material things, in the same way that corrupt sexual lust is a distortion of God's blessing in relation to our sexuality. The proper response to this kind of distortion is not to deny the good thing itself while condemning the abuse of it."

I found this to be VERY helpful correction. I get extremely wary when people claim that material blessings are from God. But then when you think about it, if God owns EVERYTHING, as I believe He does, then of course everything we receive is a gift and a blessing. I have tended to fall into this very trap (due to cynicism no doubt which Conan rebuked in me last week). Unfortunately because of the ridiculous greed and selfishness surrounding prosperity theology (or any other greedy life philosophy like "The Secret"), I have tended to reject the goodness of a material blessing at all which is just as out of balance!

There is a big difference between living out of gratitude; receiving everything with thanksgiving as a gift from God, AND selfishly and continually seeking the material blessings of God and not God Himself.

But the most detrimental thing that prosperity theology (or other worldviews) does to us is panders to the worst tendencies in us: greed, selfishness, love of money, covetousness, theft, exploitation, injustice, excessive affluence. Granted, it does so as Wright say "under a veneer of religious and spurious biblical quotation."

"If I can get rich quick by some religious activity and by just "claiming my miracle," why waste time and effort in working for it? Or even more demanding, by working for the alleviation of other people's poverty? But the answer to such false teaching is not to fall into the opposite error and regard the material world and its natural goods and pleasures as something wicked and sinful."

Is suffering God's design?

Still reading through "Don't Waste Your Life" now and again when I can take it. This is where I start to remember why I rarely read a John Piper book. One of the places we part ways is when he speaks of suffering. But that's just a result of his larger system. Or what some (ironically) call the "doctrines of grace."

He says this of suffering:
"Suffering is God's design in this sin-soaked world. It portrays sin's horror for the world to see. It punishes sin's guilt for those who do not believe in Christ. It breaks sin's power for those who take up their cross and follow Jesus. And because sin is the belittling of the all-satisfying glory of God, the suffering that breaks its power is a severe mercy."

Suffering is God's design? Really? You sure it's not a result of our rebellion and part of the curse that we experience as a result of our sin as Genesis tells us? God's design? I'll let him be the one to tell that to the people of Haiti right now.

Good advice for all people, great advice for pastors! Been coming back to this all week!

"Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper-
it only leads to harm."

-Ps. 37:8

Responding to Critics: the Contrast of Brian Mclaren and Perry Noble

Two men with so much in common. Both pastors who have a heart for people to know God and experience the new life that Jesus brings. In doing the work of ministry their own unique way, both have had to listen to incredible criticism and even endure name-calling from a variety of directions. The obvious difference between the two is how they have chosen to respond to the pressure of criticism.

As I was re-reading Brian Mclaren’s illuminating chapter on the subject of fasting in Finding Our Way Again, he was explaining the impact that the spiritual practice of fasting had made in his life. Mainly, he found that as he intentionally said “no” to some of his desires and impulses for a time, it has had a cumulative effect that has enabled him to say “no” to the larger temptations in life. One of those temptations he found himself facing was in desiring to respond harshly to critics of his writings and theology.

Here’s what he wrote:

“I think back to last week, when someone sent me a link to a website where a critic of my work indulged in some high-flying religious character assassination. My reaction to being misrepresented, insulted, and mocked was quite literally visceral. I felt something tighten in my gut, strangely similar in some ways to the craving for a chocolate-covered glazed doughnut. I started thinking about ways I could get back at this fellow, things I could write that would prove to him and to all virtual reality who the better man is. It was a kind of hunger…for revenge, I’m ashamed to say, and for self-justification, and to win and to hurt rather than lose and be hurt. And sitting here not, I wonder if my ability to let that feeling go last week didn’t have something to do with letting five hundred calories drop behind the Thank You sign on a trash can door one day. A little practice at impulse control, a little practice at facing my weakness, a little practice at laughing at my pretensions to maturity and spirituality, and a new possibility was actualized…thanks to a tradition carried by a community, embodied in some mentors who shared “elbow knowledge” with me. They say that practice makes perfect, but I wouldn’t know about that. What I do know is that practice makes possible some things that would otherwise have been impossible.”

Reading through the wisdom that Brian has gained through fasting gives me hope that over the next 20 or 30 years in ministry, I will be able to make the same wise decision to respond graciously and not satisfy my carnal urges for revenge. As I thought through this I realized that thanks to Out of Ur and a whole host of other bloggers, Perry Noble has come to serve as a contrast to the kind of graciousness of which Mclaren wrote.

I write this not to indict Perry Noble, for I do not know him, nor do I fully understand the stress that he is under as a leader in a large church. It's hard enough to sleep at night as a pastor of a smaller community. But it seems from the videos that he has not been able to say no to the temptation to respond to critics in a way that could be described as “less than generous”. As I read Brian’s description about what he initially desired to do but refrained from; namely, “getting back” at his critic, “proving to him who the better man is”, “seeking revenge”, “self-justification”, “having a desire to win”, I couldn’t stop thinking of those words describing adequately what Perry Noble has been seeking by videotaping his responses to critics and then posting them on You Tube the following week.

And sadly, while there are plenty of other venues available when you fall into the trap of feeling the need to justify yourself, he has chosen to use the stage from which God has given him the responsibility of preaching His Word on Sundays. Once you start using the “pulpit” to respond to public critics and bloggers, the church ceases to be about a gathered community of Christ-followers worshiping together, and more about a pastor dealing with the hurt that comes from critics taking shots. Sunday morning is far from the ideal platform to respond to critics and unfortunately it is on those mornings where his videos have gone from ironic and embarrassing (talking bad about pastors who talk bad about pastors from the stage), to straight up self-justification (scoreboard).

As pastors, there is no doubt that we all need to process the hurt and anxiety that comes from critics as well as ask questions like, "why does this bother me so much?" After all, some criticisms are more justified than others and should in fact be taken into account, even if the critic is not a close friend. But the place for that to happen doesn’t come on Sunday mornings in a sermon. It comes in the context of trusted mentors and spiritual friends who help us process why the critics’ voice feels so destructive to our soul.

In processing the contrast of Mclaren and Noble this week, my prayer is that I will have the ability to say no to those urges that rise up within me as a pastor to seek recognition, attention, justification, and self-worth from the ministry that Jesus has commissioned me with. But instead look to the person of Jesus himself who tells me that my worth and value come from what he has done through his death and resurrection and are ultimately found in God alone.

Does John Piper know about the resurrection?

While continuing to read and enjoy the challenge of "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper, I've noticed something that I would have guessed without reading the book. John Piper is OBSESSED with the cross of Jesus Christ. And why not? Paul was too. He made statements like, "Far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Gal. 6:14

Piper takes this and runs with it, making it the central focus of all of life and ministry. Piper interprets Paul to be saying, "Only rejoice in the cross of Christ. Paul says, Let this be your single passion, your single boast and joy and exultation."

It's not that this is all-in-all a bad thing. The cross is of crucial importance for us and our salvation! I even agree with Piper that one of the facets of Jesus' work on the cross is that he was a substitute; that he took the punishment that we deserved for our sins. He stood in our place. That is one of the easiest facets of the cross to see from Scripture. Not the only one, but an important one.

But I'm left wondering, where is the resurrection in all of this? If the resurrection didn't happen, what Jesus did on the cross is worthless! (1 Cor. 15) It still didn't achieve harmony between God and humanity. There is still not conquering of death or sin. So what's the point? You can't focus on the cross at the expense of the resurrection.

Piper states: "...for redeemed sinners, every good thing-indeed every bad thing that God turns for good-was obtained for us by the cross of Christ. Apart from the death of Christ, sinners get nothing but judgment. Apart from the cross of Christ, there is only condemnation. Therefore, everything that you enjoy in Christ-as a Christian, as a person who trusts Christ-is owing to the death of Christ. And all your rejoicing in all things should therefore be a rejoicing in the cross where all your blessings were purchased for you at the cost of the death of the Son of God, Jesus Christ."

Again, I wonder, where is the resurrection? Does it even matter in Piper's scheme? Why not make all of these statements as "the death (cross) and resurrection of Christ?" Why ONLY the cross? This seems to be a serious omission theologically.

I hope I'm wrong and Piper focuses on the significance of the resurrection somewhere in the book. I hope I can come back and apologize for jumping on his too quickly. But I've got a sneaking suspicion that the lack of resurrection will continue!

To be fair Piper mentions this: “God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God,” as the old Nicene Creed says, and since his death and resurrection are the central act of God in history..."

He acknowledges it is central but so far has only addressed the cross at the expense of resurrection.

"How well he reasoned! Lunatics always do within their own scope. I wonder at how many lives he values a man, or if at only one. He has closed the account most accurately, and today begun a new record. How many of us begin a new record with each day of our lives?”

Excerpt from Dracula by Bram Stoker

John Piper and Minimal Morality

John Piper is a pastor and author who I have typically not enjoyed reading, nor am I on the same page with his (strong) Calvinism. I don't have an opinion on the justification debate between he, N.T. Wright and a host of others because I don't really understand the fuss (although some want to make this discussion sound as if it is THE only discussion that matters right now). Maybe I will understand it more after I read N.T. Wright's book Justification and then Piper's response.

But in any case, one of the practices that I've committed to is in continuing to read authors that I know going in will have a different perspective than I do. It seems to me that if you exclusively read those books or authors of which you already agree, you're not really learning or changing per se, but rather reinforcing what you already believe (which can be helpful in it's own right).

But then of course you've got to recognize that you will never agree 100% with anyone, or any book! If you do, something may in fact be wrong! There will always be nuances, ideas, or directions in which you will not head. But learning doesn't come through simply agreeing or disagreeing, but through understanding. In fact, when reading someone's differing perspective, ideally at the end, I would love to be able to explain their opinion and even make a compelling case for it, even if I don't believe it. If I can do that, I know that I understand where they are coming from.

All that to say, I've started reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper in the mornings (it's convenient that I can read it on my iPhone for free). Sure, I don't agree with Piper on many issues, but despite that, there are a plethora of things that I can learn from him and appreciate about his ministry. Here is one such nugget. Wish I would have had this quote back when we were in 1 Corinthians.

"Somehow there had been wakened in me a passion for the essence and the main point of life. The ethical question "whether something is permissible: faded in relation to the question, "what is the main thing, the essential thing?" The thought of building a life around minimal morality or minimal significance-a life defined by the question, "what is permissible?"-felt almost disgusting to me. I didn't want a minimal life. I didn't want to live on the outskirts of reality. I wanted to understand the main thing about life and pursue it."

God, Parenting, and Pain

One of the more profound realizations of being a father thus far is how much I hurt when I see Gram in pain. I mean, genuine pain. It's fairly easy to see when Gram is crying out in pain and when he's just being whiny. In fact, a fake cry is instantly recognizable by pitch, tone, and volume. And it has a distinct effect on me: I laugh. Every single time. His fake cry has a giggle inducing effect on me. I appreciate the acting effort, but when he's faking I don't tense up as in the real times.

This past week Gram was experiencing real pain. Unfortunately one of the difficult parts of infancy is not being able to determine what is provoking the painful screams. But when pain is real, it cannot be mistaken. I tense up, I instantly start flipping through the catalog in my brain trying desperately to figure out what could be wrong and how I can fix it as soon as possible. My heart breaks for Gram when he experiences pain. I'd love to be able to fix it, and if not, then at least help comfort him through it.

This has led me (as so many things in parenting inevitably does) into thinking of our relationship with God and pain. So often when we are experiencing real pain, we have a tendency to blame God for it, even if the pain was caused by the consequences of our own rebellious actions. God must be stunned at our assertion. As a loving Father who has expressed himself through the ultimate empathy with the human condition, including the most extreme suffering and pain by becoming one of us and dying on a cross, he must be dumbfounded; to not only be mistaken for not caring, but also for causing the pain that we experience.

Seeing Gram in pain has changed my understanding of God and suffering. God doesn't look at us suffer with indifference or neglect. But he also doesn't instantly fix everything instantly either. This leads me to two conclusions: God's heart must break tremendously when He sees his children suffer (Haiti) and there must be some meaning to be found in the process of experiencing pain. It must do something in us, to us, for us for God to allow it.

Favorite Albums of the 2000's

Once again, this list in no way is trying to be a "critic's list" of the past decade, but these are simply albums that I loved and listened to more than others. Many of them has some kind of sentimental value and remind me of specific places in my life, hence why they are on this list. Enjoy!

30. Nada Surf - The Weight is a Gift

29. Grandaddy - Sumday

28. The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving

27. The Jayhawks - Rainy Day Music

26. The Album Leaf - In a Safe Place

25. The Wrens - The Meadowlands

24. The Postal Service - Give Up

23. Rogue Wave - Descended Like Vultures

22. The Killers - Hot Fuss

21. The National - Boxer

20. The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow

19. Midlake - The Trials of Van Occupanther

18. The Decemberists - Castaway and Cutouts

17. The Strokes – Is This It

16. Band of Horses – Everything All of the Time

15. The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart

14. Sun Kil Moon - Ghosts of the Great Highway

13. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Howl

12. Beck - Sea Change

11. Fleet Foxes - S/T

10. Sufjan Stevens - Illinois

9. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism

8. Elvis Perkins - In Dearland

7. Iron & Wine - Our Endless Numbered Days

6. Radiohead – Kid A

5. Josh Ritter - The Animal Years

4. The Arcade Fire – Funeral

3. My Morning Jacket – At Dawn

2. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

1. Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker

Top Ten Favorite Moments of 2009

1. The Birth of Gram

The most beautiful and profound experience of my life. The birth was extremely emotional and exhausting for both of us (probably more her :). Something I will never forget.

Taking care of a kid can be ridiculously exhausting and can wear you out in every way. But it's also the coolest thing in the world. I love everything about him and he's totally worth it!

2. Graduating the M.Div program @ Western

Felt good completing this in three years. I loved my time there. I've heard several people say that Seminary is a waste of time.

Which typically means:

A. they went to a crappy Seminary.

or

B. they didn't do what it takes to make it meaningful. Like most other things, it is what you make of it. I think some people go into Seminary expecting it to do something for them it is incapable of doing.

There were plenty of frustrations along the way, but overall these three years were well worth it! I've only been away for one semester and I'm already pining to go back!

3. Buying a home.

Never thought we would be able to do this! Many thanks to a generous gift from Kelli's grandparents for a down payment that made this possible! After living in two studio apartments and a one bedroom, it's nice to have some space (especially with Gram).

It was however quite a bit of work (but mostly for Justin, Tom, Jason, Seth, Ben, Devin, Clay, Andrew, Julia, and anyone else that I'm missing right now!)

4. Climbing Mt. St. Helens

Mike Anders said it well when he said, "Had I known what all was involved with this, I probably would have said no." Amen Mike, amen.

Took about five days before it wasn't excruciating to go up a set of stairs!

Note to others: you should do a few other prep hikes before you take this one on!

5. Our trip to Lake Tahoe.

One of the perks of Kelli's Salvation Army job is getting to tag along to places where she has meetings!

6. Our trip to Bend, OR

Again, Kelli had a few days of meetings which meant I had a few days of tastings!

7. Our weekend in Seaside, OR

We spent a few days away on the beach in a room with a jacuzzi and a fireplace thanks to Kelli's hotel points!

8. Trip home to Illinois for baby shower.

Always nice to go back to Illinois and see family. Always very peaceful to go back to the small town.

9. Spring Break Week @ University of Washington

Kelli was working most of the time, and I was doing homework, but it was a nice time nonetheless. I was able to finish up the first season of Dexter.

10. Watching all 4 first round NCAA tourney games

I've always wanted to go to March Madness. This past year Garrett and I snagged tix to 10 hours full of basketball fun!

Favorite Music of 2009 - #1-10

10. Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More

9. Grizzly Bear - Veckatimest

8. Dinosaur Jr. - Farm

7. The Avett Brothers - I and Love and You

6. Wilco - Wilco the Album

5. Magnolia Electric Co. - Josephine

4. Jets Overhead - No Nation

3. Great Lake Swimmers - Lost Channels

2. Gregory Alan Isakov - The Empty Northern Hemisphere

1. Elvis Perkins - In Dearland